


Everything is Mine to Lose

by Stormwing_Queen



Series: Nothing's Ever Lost Forever [1]
Category: Tortall - Tamora Pierce
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Developing Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, I suck at tags, Pre-Relationship, Romance, Sexual Tension, Smut, dark au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-24
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-03-14 14:38:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 24,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18950134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stormwing_Queen/pseuds/Stormwing_Queen
Summary: Modern A/U:Arram returns to the city he spend his youth in. He is broken; Betrayed by his best friend his life has fallen apart in the worst way he can imagine. He looks to find hope, but then finds a girl who needs it more than he does.George has spent years watching his good friend and his best friend (AKA the woman of his dreams) flounder in a relationship. Now it's crumbling, but where does that leave him and his dreams?Women have always fallen over their feet for Jon; but Alanna has always been different. It's why he loves her. But they aren't kids anymore and things are changing.Formerly "Nothing's ever lost forever"... renamed when I realised i needed to split the story.





	1. South by Southwest, Two miles from town.

**Author's Note:**

> I love a good AU, and the idea of Daine and Numair navigating the fact that she's been hurt so much (rather than is young/his student etc) as his issue and that he's been totally screwed over by Ozorne was intriguing to me. Daine is older, the timeline is wobbly so I can play with developing other characters, and expect a lot of angst. In terms of setting its ambiguous on purpose, but in relation to things like drinking/sex etc I'm using the UK system as that's what I know. 
> 
> Expect most people to show up in some form or another - some quite unexpected, some cliche, but hey its cliche for a reason!

I got some feelings up my sleeve  
I got a compass in my arm  
I got a needle in my heart  
It's gonna tell us where we are

_Drowning in the Sound - Amanda Palmer_

 

Numair hadn’t been to Onua’s since the day of the grand opening, and he found was pleasantly surprised as he walked up to the old farm house past all the paddocks. He had decided to leave his car at the entrance to the ranch, and it had been an excellent decision. It had been several eventful years since he had been back to Corus, and in some ways he no longer felt acquainted with it. He was warmed to find that despite the time, Onua’s place still felt the same as ever. It may have been a bit more weather worn now, but it was still familiar, and that was comforting.

He had helped Onua set the place up a few years previously, mutual friends putting them together as she was trying to get her life back on track. He smiled, remembering how Alanna had pushed him toward the small dark-haired woman in the corner at one of those awful parties they both endured rather than enjoyed. He had thought his friend had finally lost it, trying to set him up with this cousin of Buri’s that he “needed to meet”. Turns out it was not like that at all, she was hoping to set up an Equine Therapy Centre. She needed help with funding and of course, he had all the right connections. They chatted late into the evening, and became firm friends, working with his business contacts on making her dream a reality.

Looking around he smiled, the place looked good, great even. When they had opened the centre, it had consisted of a few paddocks, the ramshackle farmhouse and an old barn to house the ponies. He could see now new barns beyond the old ones he remembered, and a set of jumps as well as the large building that served as the treatment centre for the physical therapy. He was impressed, all this from a dream of helping people through trauma with horses. Onua was one hell of a woman.

If only he could get his own life back on track in the same way she had. _Well hopefully_ , he said to himself, _whatever she called me here for will help with that._ He didn’t add that it would hopefully be in a way that would enable him to retain his anonymity, even thoughts of Arram Draper were much better off left in Carthak. As he continued toward the farmhouse, out of the corner of his eye he saw a rider on a pony playing with two hounds in the paddock next to him. Recognising one of the dogs he whistled and was rewarded when Tahoi, Onua’s ever faithful hound, broke away from his friends and bounded over to him. Despite being well over six feet tall, the large shaggy grey dog stood as high as his hip, and nearly knocked him over as he leapt up to greet him.

“Yeah it’s good to see you too Tahoi,” he laughed, ruffling the dog’s ears. Tahoi chuffed happily as Numair leaned over to scratch him under the chin.

“Hey Tahoi who’s your friend?” the voice was soft, but clear and questioning. He looked up, and saw that the rider had cantered over to the path. There was a smile on her soft full lips, but it didn’t reach her eyes. He noted they were clear blue grey as she sized him up, and thought they looked just like the sky after a storm.

“Hi, I’m Numair, Old friend of Onua’s” He said warmly offering his hand, watching as she dropped down from the saddle and climbed over the fence, keeping grip on the pony’s reins. She shook his offered hand, the smile now reaching those stormy eyes.

“Oh of course, she said she was expecting you today,” she pulled off her riding helmet and shook out a mane of soft brown curls. “I was just giving Whisper a bit of a run for Onua, she was in the PT unit yesterday so she had some energy to burn off. Give me a moment and I’ll take you over to the office.” She lead the pony to a gate, then they joined Numair on the path. As they walked together to the house he couldn’t help but admire the girl beside him. Pretty, if not his usual type, she was a good foot shorter than him, and slight along with it. There was strength and muscle there; she was definitely not delicate despite her petite frame. Her face was wonderfully animated, her large eyesframed with luscious black lashes, giving away clues the rest of her guardedeven if the rest of her expression was guarded. 

“So you work for Onua then?” he asked her, watching her face intently.

“Yeah, she’s been great, don’t know where me and Cloud would be without her,” she tilted her head to the ball of white and grey fur walking behind them. Her eyes may have been dancing, but the collie was eyeing him like she might just take a chunk out of Numair if he put a foot wrong. “She’s pretty much the best person I know.”

“She’s good people.” He confirmed. “I missed her while I was away, and I think I’d be totally lost now I’m back in Corus if she wasn’t here. It’s weird being back, everything looks like I remember it but everyone has moved on, moved forward.” He sighed to himself. _Whereas I am having to start my life over again_ he thought.

“You’re not from Corus?” She questioned, seeming suddenly curious.

“Not originally” he told her, “and I’ve been living in Carthak for a few years. I have friends here, but I’ve only just moved back. I met Onua at a party held by my friend Jon years ago, when she was setting this place up. Neither of us knew many people here at the time, we got to talking. This place was her passion, it’s great to see it thriving. I never really thought about equine therapy before I met Onua but it really is amazing how it helps not just physical disability, but psychiatric disorders too. ”

They were close to the house now, and the girl wandered to the other side of the path, leading the pony toward the barns.

“Onua’s likely in the dining hall,” She told him, “She hates working in the office. It’s the third door on the left after you go in.” She smiled, but didn’t meet his eyes. Numair wondered why she had cooled as she kept walking toward the back of the house.

“Thanks,” He called after her, “Once you’ve stabled Whisper why don’t you come and find us. It would be nice to know someone else in town. Maybe we could go get a drink together later?” She paused, and turned slightly so he could again see her face when she replied. The smiling eyes were gone, now cold and with a flicker of something like grief.

“Thankyou, but no,” she replied, “That wouldn’t be a good idea. It was nice to meet you Numair.” She turned away again and started to walk away. Before Numair could call after her again a voice yelled at him from the doorway of the house’

“Arram! I thought I heard you out here!” Onua called excitedly. “It’s good to see you again. Come in grab a drink and we’ll catch up!” She smiled broadly at him as she hugged her old friend. He tried to see where girl had gone, but he couldn’t see her anymore.

“Sure Onua,” he replied, “Lead the way.” As he followed her into the house he reminded himself to ask about the girl later.

 

* * *

 

 

“So that’s what the last few years have been like here,” Onua finished her tale and lent back in her chair, regarding Numair as she sipped her tea. “How about you?” He laughed and looked at her sternly.

“You mean other than the whole arrested thing? Other than having to leave my home and change my name?” he smirked and shook his head. “Nothing to tell Onua, in Carthak my social life was limited to corporate events with Ozorne. Otherwise it was always work, and you know what happened with that.”

“And Varice?” Onua asked, causing him to look away and sigh. _Ah yes Varice_ , he thought, _my on/off love of my life Varice. Always running back to her, taking her back and forgiving her Varice. What about her?_

“She made a choice. I’m not angry, but that it was even a choice for her says a lot. It’s done, for real this time” He spoke quietly, then meeting Onua’s eyes again he smirked. “Now, the catching up is done. What is it you need my help with? Hardly fundraising again, you’re doing fine and I’m a poison pill right now, hence the name change. So, what can I do for my favourite horse hearted woman?”

“There’s a girl.. “ she started, and Numair’s smile dropped.

“No Onua. No setting me up…” He started, interrupting her before she cut him off herself to continue.

“No it’s not like that,” she assured him. “She’s a client here, well was I mean. She’s a friend now, a really good one. Her family was killed, I won’t go into the details that’s her place, but it was rough on her. She’s wicked smart, but has given up on trying for anything. She aged out of the system and now is just stuck in that vicious cycle of working to survive you know?” Her eyes were sad as she spoke, he could see she was remembering her own past. She was remembering the ex-husband who now languished in a cell somewhere after leaving her for dead. Leaning over the table between them he took her hand.

“How can I help?” he asked softly, “I don’t have the contacts or access I used to. The only people who trust me further than they can throw me you already know.” She squeezed his hand then took hers back, sipping again at her tea.

“I know that, but I think you still have your brain,” she teased before continuing to explain. “She works for me at the moment, sort of an overnight caretaker and general aide so she has a roof and a job. More importantly, she has time to finish school. It was part of our agreement when I gave her that job was that she continue school. I’m hoping that if she realises she can go beyond catching up, realises what she’s missing and that there are scholarships or ways to make higher education work for her, then she might see past… well past everything that happened to her.” She still hadn’t said what she wanted from him, but he had an idea.

“You want me to tutor her, is that it?” he asked, more than a bit confused. Ok he was a nerdy academic at heart, but surely there were others who could tutor this girl. Why him?

“Yes,” she continued, “and no, I mean not just that. She’s lost her passion for life, maybe you can help her find it again? Show her she doesn’t have to just _exist_ , she can live. Just give it a shot, that’s all I ask.”As she spoke, Numair remembered the woman Buri had introduced him to at that party, and knew then why Onua had turned to him for help. He had done the same for her in a way their other mutual friends hadn’t; he befriended her, encouraged her dream and respected her for who she was

“Ok Onua, for you,” he smiled at her before adding, “I mean it’s not like I have anything else on after all. So, tell me about this girl.” Onua smiled broadly and stood up from the table, motioning for Numair to follow.

“You’ll like Daine, let’s go find her,“ she explained as they headed out. “I’ll introduce you both, she’s probably in the stables.”

“So her name is Daine,” Numair asked as they walked, “what else should I know? You said she aged out, so she’s what, sixteen?” They looked in the first barn, and there was no sign, so they continued to the next.

“Her full name is Veralidaine, but she goes by Daine,” replied Onua as they searched. “She’s seventeen now, grew up north of here, just her and her Mother. Sarra was a nurse; she was killed when Daine was 13. No other family so ended up on the streets, then in the system. Trauma therapy was how she ended up here, working with the big horses can help with anxiety. Anyway, she’s wonderful with the horses, used to want to be a vet but gave up on that, She’d be good at it too, she’s more than capable, and the vets we use here love her.” As they entered the second barn they heard a noise. 

“Daine you in here?” Onua called out.

“I’m in with Silk,” the reply came back, and Onua lead him to a far stall. “Did your friend find you?”

As they turned into the stall, Numair processed the voice he had just heard a second before he saw the curly brown head peeking over the back of the pony. _No, this isn’t going to be awkward at all,_ he cursed silently _I mean I asked her out now she’s going to be my student. No not awkward in the slightest._ Oblivious to the awkwardness, Onua continued

“He did, and I’d like to introduce you,” she took the brush from the girl and pushed her towards where Numair stood. “Daine, this is Numair. He’s going to tutor you, help you catch up at school.” Daine looked up, eyes widening as she listened to Onua. 

“Odds bobs, I can manage without a tutor!” she replied grumpily. “I don’t see why I need to finish school anyway. No one is going to care if their barista can conjugate verbs or knows the different types of rocks.” As they regarded each other, Numair found he wondered if it was the tutoring or the tutor she was really objecting to.

“We talked about this Daine,” Onua chided. “With a bit of help, you can do really well, and you’ll have real opportunities then. This is non-negotiable if you want to stay here.” Daine levelled her eyes at Onua, then at Numair, before sighing in resignation.

“Ok,” she said, “so let’s have lessons. When?” Numair smiled at her, surprised she had given in so quickly if he was honest. There was a definite streak of stubbornness in her.

“How about we get to know each other a bit first?” he suggested, and she snorted.

“I told you, I’m _not_ going for a drink with you,” She replied, smirking at him as she continued. “It’s not a good idea, might make me even crazier.” It struck him then, remembering his comment about Onua’s patients earlier. It had upset her. _Well at least now I know what I did_ , he thought.

“I don’t know what you could possibly mean,” he replied, meeting her eyes in silent apology, “Coffee is always a good idea. Especially when I’m buying. I might even spring for muffins, you never know.” He winked at her, hoping he was forgiven. Thankfully she laughed, shaking her head at his silliness.

“Ok I’ll go tidy up,” she told him, heading out the door. “I’ll meet you out front in ten.” When she was out of sight, Onua rounded on her old friend.

“Ok Numair, what was that about?” her hands were on her hips and she regarded him sternly as she spoke. She was annoyed, and just a little suspicious. Numair reached forward and laid a hand on her shoulder in an attempt to calm her.

“I met her on my way in to meet you,” he explained. “I didn’t know who she was, so I might have mentioned something about you helping people with psychiatric problems. I also asked her to come for a drink with me. It’s fine, I’ll fix it.”

“Oh Numair,” she groaned, rubbing her face with her hands.

“Onua, I’ll _will_ fix it with her,” he promised, “I didn’t think about what I was saying. I thought she was one of your therapists or something. As for the other thing, I didn’t mean it that way; I’m just trying to meet new people now I live here.” She nodded, rolling her eyes at him.

“Ok I believe you; I mean she’s not blonde or buxom enough for you after all.” He laughed at that, but she punched his arm lightly. “Seriously Numair, she’s been through a lot, don’t be a dick.”

“Hey, trust me ok Onua,” he gave her a one-armed hug, before they both headed back toward the house. “I’m not totally clueless.”

Onua snorted, but kept quiet. _Best let him keep his delusions_ , she thought. For a man with his IQ, with all his degrees and doctorates, he could really be dense sometimes.


	2. Lost and Insecure

Who I am, who I'm not, and who I wanna be  
No way to know  
How long she will be next to me

_You Found Me - The Fray_

 

“So,” he said when they finally sat down with their drinks. “Tell me all about Daine.”

On the ride over in the car they hadn’t spoken. As soon as she sat down, Daine had turned in the radio, which Numair took as a sign that conversation was not on the table, not yet.

Now, however, they had their coffee, and while they were out of muffins, he had sprung for a cookie. She had taken the armchair opposite the small table from him, and he wondered if, despite the laughter, he hadn’t quite been forgiven for his careless remark.

“You mean Onua didn’t tell you everything?” Daine murmured, eyes trained on her latte. “She really didn’t tell you the gory details.” He now realised the look in her eyes was fear, connected to whatever it was Onua had withheld about her past. Christ, he thought, what was done to the poor girl?

“No,” he answered simply, pushing his curiosity aside. “She said that’s your story to share, and she’s right. All she told me is your name is Veralidaine, but you prefer Daine. You’re seventeen and your mother was killed when you were thirteen. She was your only family. Onua also told me you were smarter and more capable than you give yourself credit for, which is why she wants me to help you.”

“Did she tell you how?” she whispered, still not looking up at him. Reaching out, he placed his large hands over hers as they held the warm mug.

“No, and you don’t need to talk about it Daine,” his voice was soft and warm. “If you want to tell me I’ll listen but I’m not going to pry. We all have our secrets, even me.” She nodded and looked up at him. She saw that his dark eyes held a touch of sadness too, and he smiled at her before he let go of her hands. Despite his powerful frame, she thought he looked like an awkward gangly boy as he took a sip of his own coffee before he spoke again.

“I also know you have a dog called Cloud, and you care a lot about Onua. Its mutual by the way.” She smiled at that, so he thought it safe to continue. “She told me you wanted to be a vet when you were younger, is that still the dream?” She sighed and picked at the cookie.

“Dreams are for kids,” she said finally. “I’d like to stay working with the horses if Onua will let me, or maybe some other work with animals. Vet school takes too long, and too much money, even if I did have the grades.” Numair nodded, not that he agreed, but it wasn’t time to argue that point just yet.

“What else interests you?” he asked her. He was beginning to think pulling teeth would be easier than getting past the walls she put up, then she smirked as she held up the remains of her cookie.

“Cookies are a definite interest,” she said taking another bite. “As are a great many things, but I think its time for you to tell me about you. I mean you know all those things to me. Time to share Numair. All I know about you is your first name, and you’re new in town. Spill it.” He laughed, and her smirk became a smile.

“Ok, you want tit for tat I take it?” She nodded as she finished the cookie. “Ok, well my full name is Numair Salmalin, but only recently. I’m thirty, no real family and no pets. I spent too much time in university and know many impractical things, but I like collecting knowledge. I think that makes us even, so it’s now your turn again.”

“Ok, I like to read for fun. Your name is recent?” She questioned. Numair laughed.

“Indeed, I did say that I had secrets,” he paused, thinking of another question he asked.

“How long have you had Cloud?” A sadness came over her eyes and he regretted the question.

“My Ma gave her to me for my tenth birthday. It was hard to keep her when I was in the homes, but she’s my only family. I wasn’t going to lose her too.” She took a deep breath and narrowed her eyes at him before asking her own question. “What did you study at university?”

“Oh, well I started with Astronomy,” he grinned as he continued. “Then I went on to Physics, Engineering, Biomechanics, Medieval literature...”

“Medieval literature?” she interrupted, “Really? Seems a bit out of place with the others.” She snorted.

“Yeah, I guess it is,” he shrugged, and Daine realised he looked a lot younger than his years, his tanned complexion lit up when he talked about learning. “I enjoyed it, I wanted to learn about it, so I did. Same reason I took economics, but that wasn’t half as interesting.” She laughed.

“I feel like that sometimes,” she admitted. “I’ve got a literature module on mythology at the moment. I find myself drawn in and looking up more about each culture. I love how they used myths to explain things like volcanos and the weird stuff in nature. It’s pretty cool.” As she spoke a wide, open smile spread across her face and she almost glowed.

The awkwardness eased, they started chatting about various cultures and their gods, the connection between the old beliefs and astronomy, and before they knew it the staff at the coffee shop were closing up around them.

 

This time, they talked in the car.

“Sorry, I didn’t realise how late it was,” Numair said apologetically as they drove. It was nearly dark now, the purple twilight sneaking in above them. “ I hope you weren’t needed to work.”

“S’ok,” she snorted, “ If I was missed its Onua’s fault for arranging this thing. She can bloody deal with it.” She might be smirking but she was serious, and the look on her face told him she meant it.

“That’s true I suppose,” he replied softly. Taking a deep breath he broached the elephant in the room., or rather in the car. It was getting rather uncomfortable with the three of them in his small car. “Daine, I know she pushed this on you but tell me honestly, its not a problem is it? Me I mean. I am truly sorry I upset you earlier, my friend Alanna tells me sometimes I only open my mouth to change feet.”

“I guess,” She sighed, and out of the corner of his eye he could see a smile tugging on her lips. “ Sorry I was in a pet before, it wasn’t so much you as it was Onua badgering me about school. I’ll graduate anyway, even if I stopped going to class now. She’s just insists that I take more classes and look at admissions packs. I know she means well but on top of being totally ridiculous it… well sighed... it makes me miss my Mom even more.” The ghosts of what could have been haunted Daine every time Onua brought up university. She imagined how her Mother would have poured over every school prospectus and come up with pro’s and con’s for each. They’d have visited a few, her insisting on the cheaper schools while Sarra shushed her and insisted she apply for the best, most expensive school. Just in case, she would have said, even if they take you, you don’t have to accept.

“Yeah, she can go full mother hen sometimes,” Numair interrupted her thoughts, correctly guessing what her silence meant. “One day I’ll tell you about the first time she met my girlfriend, that was painful. I think the Spanish Inquisition would have had fewer questions than Onua did, and I wont mention what she did with fear, surprise and her ruthless efficiency.” Daine dissolved into a fit of giggles, and he joined in. She had a great laugh, he decided she needed to laugh more.

“How about this, no lessons,” he suggested. “I’ll help you with classes and homework and all that, but nothing formal like school. We can just hang out, visit exhibitions or the theatre or riding, basically whatever vaguely learning experience we can think of. That way we keep Onua happy, but I get a social life. I don’t think I’ve ever had a proper one, but I hear they’re fun. I was serious about wanting to meet people in town, get to know the place again.”

“Ok,” she agreed. Turning on him, with a smirk, “why didn’t you have a social life before? Are you some kind of sexual pervert I should avoid at all costs?” He choked, and she laughed.

“Why would you ask that?” He asked, concerned, worried he was giving off that vibe, or she recognised him from some half remembered whisper. He had hoped growing out his hair and shaving would be enough a disguise for those who had only seen him in the papers. When he realised she was still laughing at his reaction he relaxed.

“It’s not nice to tease the driver,” he scolded although he was smiling at her. “I had no social life because I was always working. Even the dates I went on with Varice were pretty much always to work things. I like being at home with my books, they are my constant companions.”

“Did your girlfriend not move with you? To Corus I mean?” She asked quietly, noting that he started to shake his head before she even finished speaking. She assumed Varice was his girlfriend, but if she wasn’t she was curious if he had one or not. He had said that the invitation for a drink was only in friendship, but the years on the streets had taught her people lie. She wanted to trust him, she needed a friend and he was sweet, kind even.

“Oh, no. Varice isn’t my.. I mean shes my ex.” He spoke softly, but without sadness. “She’s my ex now I guess. It was one of those things that went on longer than it should have because there was nothing in its way you know.” Daine smiled at him as he pulled up at the entrance to the ranch.

“Are you in the house or…?” He asked, looking over at her. For a moment she was silent before she realised why he asked. Idiot she scolded herself he’s not like the guys Ma’s ladies warned me about, he just wants to drop me home to the right place. She felt stupid for thinking such things, but he was such a flirt she couldn’t help it.

“Oh right, yeah just drive up to the main house,” She finally managed, then withdrew back into herself.

“Is it ok to talk to your school?” He asked her after a minute, breaking the silence just as they reached the house. Pulling up the car he looked over to the passenger seat. “Only for details of the curriculum and what you might need help with? It will save me asking you all the time, but if you don’t want me to I won’t.”

“Sure, I guess,” she replied. He smiled broadly and she couldn’t help smiling back.  
“Great I’ll call them, need to make sure I actually know something about what they’re teaching you,” he joked. “I’ll call you in a day or two to work out a time to hang out?” She nodded at him and opened the car door, surprised to find Numair got out too. Leaving the door of the car open he looked up at the sky.

It’s great out here, so little light pollution,” he sounded reverent as he looked up at the stars, now standing proud against the dark sky. Looking to the east he saw his favourite constellation bright in the sky. “Daine, come look at this.”

“Astronomy nerd,” she quipped, and he smiled as she came up beside him. Taking her hand he guided it up to a star, before tracing a shape across the sky.

“This constellation is my favourite, its called The Cat. One legend says that centuries ago, the gods sent him to protect and guide their champion. After he died fighting alongside her, they gifted him a spot amongst the stars. Others say that he has always been up there, but comes down to act as protector to great warrior women. Either way, the constellation has been known over history to disappear and reappear in the sky at random. Science can’t explain it, but it does generally coincide with the life of an exceptional woman who made a mark on history.”

“That’s not possible is it?” Daine looked up at the cluster of stars, confused. “There’s no way that can happen, stars disappearing and reappearing.”

“It’s not a phenomena science has managed to explain. Or rather explain yet.” He smiled to himself as he spoke, lost in his thoughts. “My grandmother told me the story of the cat when I was little, and I became obsessed with solving the mystery. I read every text on astronomy and cosmology I could find. I studied history and myth for clues, trying to find a reason that science could prove. I haven’t found it yet, but following that dream has lead me to some pretty great things.”

Dragging his eyes away from the stars, he looked down at Daine. Her hair whipped around her face in the soft evening breeze. Realising he still held her hand, he found himself bringing it to his lips and kissing her knuckles softly, causing her to blush bright red.

“Goodnight fair maiden” he declared as he finally let go of her wrist, drawing himself down in an exaggerated, chivalrous bow. She laughed, shoving his shoulder as she did.

Goodnight Numair,” she replied, and headed into the house, thinking that maybe this tutoring wouldn’t be so bad after all. Even if her tutor was rather silly.


	3. What didn’t kill me, it never made me stronger

There maybe other people like us  
You see the flicker of the clip when they light up  
Flames just create us, burns don't heal like before

_Drunk - Ed Sheeran_

 

The next day, tired of looking at the same four walls of the borrowed apartment while he worked, and figuring he’d get started on that social life thing, Numair headed to the pub. It had been a few years since he’s been to Pirates Swoop, and unlike Onua’s place it definitely looked different from the place he remembered. The first time he’s been there it was your typical dive bar, now Numair found it had more of a cozy vibe, all soft edges, craft beer and good food. I guess we’ve all grown up in the last few years, Numair thought, even George.

Grabbing a pint of something with a ridiculous name, and the wifi password, Numair made himself at home in one of the booths in the back. Solomon, the bar manager, had recognised him despite the longer hair and every longer years. Deciding to do the sensible thing and hide in the corner, he found a booth out of the general sight line of the patrons and pulled out his laptop. Working on his beer, he started to read through the syllabus and records Daine’s school had emailed over to him. Onua was right, she was smart, and funny; he found himself laughing out loud as he read over the essays included in her transcript. He was near the end of his pint when his concentration was interrupted by deep laughing voice.

“Well now, look what the cat dragged in,” Numair smiled as another pint appeared next to his own, “If it ain’t the hardened criminal mastermind. I wondered when you’d be showin’ yer face.”

“Hello George,” he chinked his glass against the one George held as he took the seat opposite Numair. “I wondered if Solomon would call you when he recognised me. How are you?”

“He probably would have,” George supplied, “but I was in the office doing the payroll. Which should also tell ye how I’m doin’.” He winked as Numair closed his laptop and slid it away.

“Oh yes, the joys of business ownership,” Numair agreed. He looked over George, his eyes still full of the mischief that got them into so much trouble as undergrads. Looking at George it wouldn’t have been a stretch to think that the bar was the only thing that had grown up since then.

“Aye, something like that,” he confirmed. “So yer back here now, or just a visit? How are you old friend?”

“I could hardly stay in Thak could I?” Numair sighed. “I’m ok, getting used to it. I’ll admit its hard to relax, worried someone will recognise me and cause a scene. Onua has me tutoring this girl and she made a crack about my sexual exploits and I nearly choked. Did it make the front pages here?”

“Some,” he admitted, “But we had our own tabloid fodder with the lordling that took up most of the attention. What actually happened, I mean I heard the gossip but we both know that’s bullshit.” Numair sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

“We got everything manufactured out east,” Numair explained, taking long gulps of beer. “The manufacturing and construction is just as good, but costs are cheaper. Of course, with the patents and so on, Ozorne convinced me we needed to control shipping door to door.” George nodded as it all became clear.

“So he could bring in the girls,” he finished the thought for his friend. “ Well fuck. I always thought he was an arrogant cunt but I would have never pegged him for that kinda thing.”

“Yeah, well, me neither obviously. Of course he made sure my signature was on everything of course.” His voice cracked as he continued, “God George they showed me photos when they interviewed me. It was brutal, what they did to them.”

“It’s all going in your favour though right?” He smiled consolingly at his friend as he reached across the table to put his hand on Numair’s shoulder. “Alanna seemed to think you were going to be ok.”

“Yeah, I think so” Numair confirmed. “Unofficially they’ve told me his set up was too perfect to not be suspicious, which is why I’m on bail pending charges. I mean George, you know me how many times have I forgotten to do or sign something? Yet I apparently signed everything incriminating.”

George snorted, remembering all the times Numair had to be pulled out of some book or experiment, often times to do things as simple as eat. It was half the reason he had gone into business with his old prep school friend Ozorne; he could do the day to day stuff and Numair could do what he did best, be the mad genius inventor.

“So what’s been happening here?” Numair asked. “Alanna stopped in with me on her way out east, but it was like getting blood from a stone getting sense from her. She was still pretty angry at Jon, have you talked to her lately? She mentioned she saw you just before she left.”

“Aye,” George confirmed, his cheeks colouring slightly. “Not heard from her since she left, I kinda expected that though. It weren’t pretty. After the car wreck her blood test and Jon’s both came back positive for drugs. You remember what the lord and lady are like, it was all Alanna bewitching their boy. Gary tried to talk them around but without Jon awake to back him up, Alanna was the inappropriate party girl who got him high and let him drive the car, nearly killing him. Nae mind as an athlete she gets random drug tests, or even that Jon have any responsibility for his own damn decisions.”

“ So she went away on her own to escape all the rumours, stayed with Myles, kept to herself. She’s never admit it but it hurt her, everyone thinkin’ she’d hurt Jon. You know she’s always been devoted to him since they were kids.”

“Let me guess,” Numair said, “when Jon woke up he didn’t feel that way. He was upset she’d left and abandoned him and was self-centred little lordling again.” George laughed.

“Aye something like that. He wasn’t so bad, you know he tries to rise above growing up with everyone bowing down to him,” George explained, defending their friend. “ He were ok, upset but ok, until the drugs came up. He decided to believe his parents. ‘Lanna kept trying to tell him it must have been Roger, he kept making sure Jon had a non-alcoholic drink in his hand as he was driving. Of course she was stealing them from Jon, it was the obvious place they both got dosed. Except to Jon, because Roger would never do something like that of course.”

“So they split up?” Numair asked. George shook his head.

“Not then,” he continued, “ I mean they weren’t talking, but they weren’t split either. Then by fluke Roger was arrested for possession and it all fell into place. Jon apologised to Alanna for doubting her and thought that would be that, assumed a simple sorry and they would go back to how it was before. Started back on the conversation about when they’d get married.”

“Oh no, he didn’t?” Numair dropped his head into his hands. The one thing Jon and Alanna never agreed on was her giving up her life as a pro athlete, one of the best martial arts experts in the world, to become Lady Conte. They adored each other sure, but it was a continued sticking point.

“Oh he did, and worse. It resulted in an even bigger fight, lots of nasty things were said and they actually split this time.” George looked down, wetting his lip unconsciously as he paused before continuing. ” She decided to go on this backpacking trip with Buri’s cousin after it became obvious that Jon decided to make up for lost time. He became Mr Playboy, I hear the latest is a little petite lass his mother thinks is the perfect Lady.”

Numair could tell his was hiding some detail, something had to have happened between him and Alanna for them not to talk. When Alanna stayed with him before heading to Sarain she barely mentioned George, and now he was being evasive. For as long as Alanna had been with Jon, George had been her best friend. As much as whatever had happened was their business, he wondered what it was.

“So what happened with Roger?” He asked finally, deciding to change the subject. “Where is he now?”

“Probation for the possession,” George told him. “Nothing over the crash, luckily no one else was involved so its all under the rug. The family sent him to one of those places that says it’s a spa but is really rehab for rich people.” George snorted again and drained what remained of his drink.

“Well, at least I’m not the only one with drama,” Numair lamented. Gesturing around them he added, “ I like what you’ve done with the place by the way George. It looks good. A bit different from the old days.” George smiled broadly.

“Aye well, trying to be a bit more respectable now,” he said, winking. “I mean, someone has to with you reprobates for friends. Bunch of thieves and rogues the lot of ye.”

Numair laughed as Solomon appeared put two more pints in front of them. It was going to be a fun night.


	4. If You Want Me I’ll Be in The Bar

I remember that time that you told me, you said  
"Love is touching souls"  
Surely you touched mine 'cause  
Part of you pours out of me  
In these lines from time to time

 

_A Case of You - Joni Mitchell_

From: George Cooper (thebaron@piratesswoop.com)  
To: Alanna Trebond (lioness@gmail.com)  
Re: Storkboy

Alanna

I saw our old friend last night. He popped into the bar and we caught up. Asked me if I had heard from you, I think he was worried you might be checking up on him, making sure he hadn’t accidentally set fire to your place. Do you remember when he did that in his final year?  
We caught up on all the drama in Thak, and how you talked him into coming back. Did he tell you he changed his name? He’s now Numair Salmalin, because even though the idea is laying low, he has to have a flamboyant name. When Onua told me I swear she was trying not to giggle, it took a lot for me not to knock it to his face. You would have been proud of how I held my tongue.

We’re keeping each other company, although we are both bored without you here. Hopefully we wont get in to too much trouble without you.

What’s it like there? Is Buri’s cousin a good travelling companion?

George

* * *

 

From: Alanna Trebond (lioness@gmail.com)  
To: George Cooper (thebaron@piratesswoop.com)  
Re: Panther-man!

George

He did tell me. Did you know that Numair means Panther? I think we need to update his nickname appropriately. After all he filled out in the end and looks less stork-like these days. Even if he is only slightly shorter than Balor’s Needle.

It’s so hot here I feel warm to my bones. You know how I hate the cold, so it’s perfect.

I met up with Buri’s cousin a few days after I got here. She was right, Thayet is a great travelling partner, we get on really well. We bonded over our Dad’s being assholes to start with, and you know how I can go on about that. It’s fun to have someone around who isn’t involved in the whole drama while I sort my head out. Not that you’ve not been a great friend to me George, but its nice to talk to some who’s unbiased.

Anyway enough about all that. I’ve found a great Shang dojo out here. The masters are helping me hone my technique. Liam is very well respected, even if he does seem to dislike that I come from money. It’s like he thinks it makes me a witch or something. Eda is much friendlier and keeps him in check, I really like her. I’m learning a lot from them both.

I hope you and Numair aren’t getting into too much trouble. You should both spend more time with Gary, he might help you both become more sensible!! My apartment better be there when I get back.

Alanna

 

* * *

 

From: George Cooper (thebaron@piratesswoop.com)  
To: Alanna Trebond (lioness@gmail.com)  
Re: Panther-man!  
Alanna

You only think Gary is sensible because he never gets caught when he’s an idiot. Unless there is another motive for you wanting him hanging out with us. Are you hoping he will be your spy by any chance?

I’m happy you’ve made new friends, I just hope you wont forget us back here. We miss you.

George

 

* * *

 

From: Alanna Trebond (lioness@gmail.com)  
To: George Cooper (thebaron@piratesswoop.com)  
Re: The Adventures of Pantherman and the Baron.

George

Stop fishing. I want him around so Numair doesn’t have orgies in my apartment. I read the papers, I know what he was getting up to in Thak. I heard about the contortionist twins. I’m just hoping he can manage to make sure neither of you get caught with your (literal or figurative) pants around your ankles.

Not getting caught is Gary’s superpower after all. I know there is little hope he’ll actually stop anything short of an orgy, but hell, if he can calm Raoul down when drunk he can manage you two!

Alanna.

 

* * *

  

From: George Cooper (thebaron@piratesswoop.com)  
To: Alanna Trebond (lioness@gmail.com)  
Re: The Adventures of Pantherman and the Baron

Alanna

Raoul has shockingly stopped drinking. I don’t know how we will cope without the income his bar bill generated. I mean he still comes around to hang out, but its all coffee and water. I’m worried about bankruptcy.

Numair would like to make it known that he only intended to date one of those twins, but he got drunk and didn’t realise he wasn’t seeing double until he was at home and it was too late. It was entirely their idea, he just went along with it.

I would like it to be known that I don’t believe him. Neither do Raoul or Gary.

George

 

* * *

  

From: Alanna Trebond (lioness@gmail.com)  
To: George Cooper (thebaron@piratesswoop.com)  
Re: The Adventures of Pantherman and the Baron

George

I’m sure the swoop will be fine, you have Numair now, so that’s maybe half of Raoul’s drinking compensated for. Thayet has convinced me we should go on a mountaineering trek starting next week. One last epic adventure. Out of the relative civilisation, into the real wilderness. Into the icy cold. I don’t know HOW she convinced me to give up this warmth for the mountains but she did.

It might be a good thing. I keep googling and worrying about Numair turning my apartment into a den of sin or a smouldering crater.

After this I think we’ll head home. I’ve convinced Thayet to come back with me, get away from her old man. So I guess someday soon I’ll be propping up your bar again.

Alanna

 

* * *

 

From: George Cooper (thebaron@piratesswoop.com)  
To: Alanna Trebond (lioness@gmail.com)  
Re: Safe travels

Alanna

You’ve always been my favourite patron, its not been the same without you here. I’ve missed you

I’ll see you when you get home.

George

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is now where I want them, so the exposition heavy stuff is done. Your comments are life blood (literally) so please let me know what you think of how it develops. This is my creative outlet so I really do feed on kudos and comments.


	5. Round here, She's always on my mind.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One evening everyone ends up at Pirates Swoop somehow...

And in between the moon and you the angels  
Get a better view of the crumbling  
Difference between wrong and right

_Round Here - Counting Crows_

 

“This feels like when we were in school,” Gary commented as yet another round arrived at the table. “Except of course my dumbass cousin isn’t here.”

“And Raoul is sober,” Numair added to a cacophony of laughter from the assembled friends.

They had been regularly getting together again down at the Pirates Swoop ever since Numair returned to town. At least once a week George would leave the bar in the capable hands of Solomon and the other staff, join the old crew setting the world to rights. Gary was right, it was like when they had been students together. The only difference was that the last time it had only been the four of them hanging out, or rather the three of them bothering George at work, they had been trying to ignore Jon and Alanna sneaking off together. None of them wanted to acknowledge the missing members of the old crew, to do so would mean they needed to talk why they weren’t there. So far they had all kept to the unwritten rule, but this Friday night George couldn’t hold back anymore.

“We should get Jon down here, make this a proper lads night,” he said through the laughter, almost immediately causing it to die down “What, or rather who, is so important yer lordling cousin can’t grace us with his presence, eh Gary?”

“Urm… well…” Gary stuttered, his chestnut eyes glued intensely a knot in the woodgrain of the table infront of him.

“Her name is Josaine,” Raoul interrupted, saving his friend. “But she isn’t what’s keeping Jon away, its you. The reason he isn’t here is he’s afraid you’re going to punch him, George. You always were more Alanna’s friend than his.” George laughed, breaking the tension he had created with his questioning.

“Aye, that’s a fair comment, but I’m not gonna. Jon’s safe, I won’t be punching him,” He met Gary’s gaze, and the younger man saw a spark of guilt there. “After all I need his money now Raoul has stopped drinking.” Raoul blushed, but he and Numair both kept quiet, leaving this discussion up to George and Gary.

“Seriously George, is it cool?”

“Ah now o’ course it is Gary,” George smiled, and looked away, no longer able to meet his friends eyes. “I miss the stupid bastard too. And you know the lass would kill me I even _tried_ to pick sides.” Now it was Gary’s turn to laugh, and he slapped George on the shoulder before picking up his phone.

“Yeah, I know,” he replied. “I’ll text him, see if we can get him down here.”

 

 

With good humour restored and Jon on his way, Numair went up to the bar to get another round of drinks in. It was fairly busy, despite George’s jibes about money, so he perched at the end of the bar near the hatch and waited patiently. He didn’t pay any attention to the other patrons, lost in his own thoughts until he heard a familiar lilting voice.

“Hey Solomon, is Badger about?”

Turning towards the voice, he spotted her curly head in the crowd and smiled in spite of himself. Over the weeks of tutoring they had grown closer. She was less fearful and awkward around him and Cloud no longer growled at his every movement, although the collie still had him under surveillance.

“Daine?”

She spun towards his voice as he called out to her, those clear blue grey eyes lighting up when she saw him. She worked her way through the crowd to where he stood, giving him a quick hug when she reached him.

“Hi Numair! Odds Bobs I didn’t know you came down here.” She was more relaxed than he had seen her, almost giddy, and he wondered for a moment if she was drunk. She was smiling and Numair was struck by how lovely she looked. He wondered if she was meeting someone, did she have a date?

“Oh, I’ve known George, the owner that is, for years,” he replied eventually, realising she was waiting for an answer. “What about you? I’ve not seen… I mean what brings you here?” She opened her mouth to answer when a large hand belonging to one of the bar staff, reached out and ruffled her hair.

“Well hello Kit,” he eyed Numair as Daine jerked her head away from his hand. “This one botherin’ you?” The guy was short, but well built with a close-cropped beard, his dark hair sporting a prominent white streak at the temple. He looked ready to lay-out anyone who might be bothering Daine. Numair wasn’t sure if he should be happy she had someone looking out for her, or petrified.

“No,” she laughed, “this is Numair, I told you about him remember? Numair this is my friend Badger. Don’t worry Numair, I’m not drinking, there’s no risk to your friends liquor licence. I’m just here to pick up some movies he said he’d lend me.”

“Nice to meet you Numair,” Badger smiled, looking him over, obviously protective of Daine. “Daine I’ll just go grab ‘em. I’m guessing if you’re part of George’s mob you’re up here for another round?” Numair nodded, and Badger turned away down the bar.

“So Badger, I’m assuming it’s because of the hair?”

“You know, I’ve never thought to ask,” Daine answered. “So what happened to ‘I have no social life?’”

“This is part of my plan to get one,” he replied, smirking at her. “I also need to help keep George out of trouble, although he would say the same about me. I guess we have a mutual protection pact.” She giggled as Badger returned carrying a stack of DVD’s, and he handed over to Daine.

“Here you are, you and Rik have fun,” He started to pour Numair’s drinks. “Bring ‘em with you Wednesday.” She nodded, putting them into her bag, but making no movement to leave, staying close and watching Numair instead.

“Wednesday?” he asked her quizzically. Daine blushed and he chuckled “Why are you blushing, you got a hot date?” He wiggled his eyebrows and Badger roared with laughter as he started to assemble the tray of drinks.

“It’s our D&D night,” he explained as he started pulling the second pint. “Daine here is our halfling wizard, keeps the rest of the party out of trouble.” Daine shot him a look as he spoke, looking like she wanted the floor to swallow her.

“Dungeons and Dragons? Why Daine, I never imagined you as the D&D type,” Numair brushed a stray curl from her face as he spoke, encouraging her to look up at him. She did, defiantly, her cool eyes meeting his and almost daring him to make fun of her.

“Hey, don’t knock it until you try it!”

I’m not knocking it, you’re right I shouldn’t judge something until I’ve tried it,” glancing over at where Badger was pouring the third pint he called over to him. “Hey Badger, can I join you guys Wednesday? I fancy giving it a try.”

Badger looked him over, then at Daine beside him, before smirking and nodding at the pair.

“Sure, could always use new players, get Daine to set you up a character and I’ll work you in to the campaign. George lets us use the snug. We meet at eight.” He set down the final drink and winked at Daine before heading to serve another customer.

“Do you actually know anything about Dungeons and Dragons?” she asked Numair. She couldn’t believe that he had actually just invited himself along to her D&D night, she didn’t know how she felt about it, other than surprised. She could see it though, Numair as a Gandalf like creature, lost in magic books the same way he seemed to lose himself in whatever they ended up talking about during lessons.

“Nope, but I’d like to learn, learning is fun remember,” he reminded her. “So, What’s a Halfling anyway?”

“Basically its a Hobbit, but that’s under copywrite. You do know what a hobbit is right?”

“Yes, I read Lord of the Rings. So that makes you a magelet right?” She furrowed her brow at his remark, wondering what he was on about.  

“Huh?”

“It makes you a Magelet,” he told her, tweeking her nose, “a little mage.” She snorted, shaking her head at his silliness. He lent down and kissed her cheek before picking up the tray of drinks.

“I’ll see you Monday magelet,” he said as he headed towards his friends in the booth. “You can tell me all about D&D then.”

 

 

Not too much later, Jon finally appeared and was greeted by a rousing cheer. Looking over his assembled friends it was obvious from rosy faces and assembled empties how the evening had been going. Even sober Raoul looked flustered, no doubt as a result of some revelry.

“Alright, alright, calm down,” he laughed. “It looks like I have some catching up to do. How deep in are they Raoul.”

“I’m refusing to count,” he said, moving over to make room for Jon to sit. “It’ll just make me sad.” George laughed and headed over to the bar; returning with another round and a round of shots so Jon could catch up.

“Jesus George,” he exclaimed as the tequila appeared before him. “Are you _sure_ you aren’t out to get me?” The entire table laughed as George held Jon’s face in both hands and kissed him hard on the lips.

“I know it was you Fredo...”  was all he managed to get out before dissolving into laughter. He hugged Jon, and right then Jon knew that whatever happened with the girl, their friendship will be fine. There are a few minutes of silence once they had stopped laughing. Gary looked over the pair, noticing that look had returned to George’s eyes. Leaning back, he took a shot then slapped the table in front of him.

“Hey Numair, I meant to ask,” He said, smiling wickedly. “Who was the girl you were flirting with at the bar?” All eyes at the table fell on him, and Numair found himself going a rather fetching shade of beetroot under his tan. _Of course they saw,_ he lamented to himself, _and now I’m fucked._

“It was Daine,” he finally answered, ”and I wasn’t flirting with her.” 

“Daine, who’s Daine?” Raoul asked as he looked around the group to see if anyone knew who Numair is talking about. “is she your new girlfriend?”

“No,” Numair replied

“Yes,” George interjected.

“George!” he cried, dropping his head to the table, “She’s seventeen for heavens’ sake!”

“That’s ok, that’s legal. It’s also not a denial,” Raoul said over more laughter. “Come on that was some serious flirting.”

“Fuck off Raoul!”

“Now, now, children,” George cast a withering look over at Jon and Gary, now lost to giggles as Numair headbutted the table. “Numair is right. Daine is Onua’s friend that Numair is helping with her studies and she is only seventeen. It’s not _appropriate_ for him to sleep with her.”

“Thank you, George,” Numair said, raising his head from the table, thankful that at least George is standing up for him. He knows his reputation, he knows they are only teasing but something about it really annoys him this time.

“As much as he really, REALLY wants to.”

The thud as his head hit wood once more was followed by peeling laughter.

 

 

It’s toward the end of the night when Numair finally tells Jon, “You’re an idiot.”

“I know,” Jon stared at his empty glass as he spoke. “I just… Roger is family you know? I didn’t want to believe it of him. We’ve been fighting all the time over getting married. I know she has strong feelings about the whole lady of the manor thing but we’ve been together forever. She’s my best friend Arr.. Numair. I love her.”  

“And Josiane?” George sobered up enough to ask, needing to know what the hell is going on between Jon and Alanna. She won’t tell him, he knows Jon is his only chance to find out.

“Our Mothers are friends,” he explained, looking pained as he thinks about the affair. “A bit of it was me wanting to hurt Alanna after she rejected my proposal, to be with a proper lady. I thought if she was jealous she’d come back. Not that it worked and fuck, now I cant get rid of her! Numair you’re a man-whore, how do you get rid of the women in the morning?”

“Oh its easy Jon, I just go home.”

“You’re no help.” Jon cried, looking around the table before settling his eyes on George. “You must have picked up your share of overnight companionship at the bar. How do you get them to leave?”

“I send them home,” George replied, winking at Numair and causing Gary and Raoul to howl laughing.

“Your both assholes,” Jon laid his head on the table, feeling the affects of the night. “God I miss Alanna. Why did I say that stuff to her, I’m such a dick. Do you think she’ll take me back? Do you think she’ll come back?” George placed a hand on Jon’s back as he started to cry.

“She’ll be back, she always comes back.”

“George has she said anything to you? Do you think she still loves me?” Jon looked up at his friend, hopeful and heartbroken. George didn’t answer him and just shrugged.

 _I hope not_ he said to himself, hating himself for thinking it. He wanted Alanna back home more than anything. The only thing he wanted more was her back in his bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like it known I was already intending to use D&D as an in for "Magelet" BEFORE I saw this Tumblr post https://clehame.tumblr.com/post/174842775018/the-immortals-quartet-but-its-a-dd-campaign
> 
> not that its not giving me many ideas on what fun I can have with it.


	6. She said use your hands and my spare time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> why George feels guilty, AKA shameless smut

And she said use your hands and my spare time  
We've got one thing in common it's this tongue of mine  
She said she's got a boyfriend anyway

_Sex - The 1975_

 

_Three Months Ago…_

 

“I’m not pissed off, especially not over his so-called apology. I mean he’s being a self centred arrogant prick, but that’s just Jon. It’s just that even after all these years he just doesn’t see me, not the real me.” Alanna was leaning against the wall in George’s apartment, watching him as he put away groceries in the kitchen.

“Darlin’ that’s not true. He loves you.”

“Oh, he’s supportive, comes to tournaments and all of that, but that’s Jon my friend. Jon my boyfriend just assumed that I would retire and marry him as soon as he asked me.” As always when Alanna and he spoke about her relationship with Jon, George had been on his best behaviour. It wasn’t like she didn’t know how he felt, but they didn’t acknowledge it. However, finding out that Jon had proposed his heart pounded.

“You don’t want to marry him?” George asked, trying to keep his voice neutral.

“Not now I bloody don’t. I told him at the time that I needed to think about it. I mean it’s not just marrying Jon is it, it’s the expectations, its being Lady Conte. I told him I needed time, and he seemed to listen, and then there he was, making plans like I had accepted.” She rose from her place lounging on the wall and looked out the window. “Urgh I need to get out of town again. Buri keeps talking about Sarain, I’ve heard about a dojo I might go check it out. I could go and visit Arram on my way, he needs a friend right now.”

George stopped and looked at her, silhouetted against the view of the harbour. Going to her he looped an arm around her shoulder.  

“You’ll be coming back eventually, won’t you?”

“Worried I’ll stay in Thak with Arram?” she teased, turning toward him, smiling coyly at him. Her eyes locked on his and she wet her lips. Her violet eyes burned, lighting the hunger in his own.

“Lass, you’re not being fair,” his voice was hoarse and he dared not move. Instead he let his eyes roam over her, lingering on her lips.

“Fair to Jon,” she questioned, “Or fair to you?” She reached up, cradling his face as she pulled him down and crushed her lips against his.

For years he fought his feelings, determined not to let his desire ruin his friendship with either Alanna or Jon. Right then he didn’t care, her lips on his were all he cared about. He lifted her up against his chest, and she wrapped her legs around his waist, his lips ravaging hers.

Lost in their passionate kiss, his hands found the hem of her t-shirt and slipped inside, kneading her breasts. She moaned, spurring him on, and as he walked them toward his bed he yanked the shirt over her head. His lips followed a path down her neck and to the top of her breasts, kissing and biting on the soft swell that rose from the top of her bra. Reaching around her back as she suckled and nipped his throat he removed the lacy garment that impeded the progress of his mouth.

Revelling in the sounds she made as he suckled on her nipples made George’s cock jerk against her, held back only by the fabric confines of his pants. God he wanted her, he had wanted her for years and now she was in his arms, his mouth worshiping her. He lay her on his bed, resuming his exploration of her. As he kissed the taut muscles of her stomach he went to work on removing her jeans.

Now fully bare, Alanna flipped George until he was under her. Now it was her turn to explore his chest with her tongue, pulling off his shirt before she went to work licking at his nipples. She worked on releasing his cock from its fabric confines teasing the bulge with her fingertips as she undid his fly. Once he was free, she licked her lips as she wrapped her hand around him, stroking along the impressive length of him, her lips closing around his engorged purple head.  

“Fuck, you’re incredible,” the words were barely audible amongst the groans falling from his mouth. George tried to think of other things, but it was no use. As her tongue played with the organ in her mouth, he grasped at her hair as he struggled not to finish.

“Lass, I’m going to come if you don’t stop,” he pleaded. God those violet eyes stared into his as she released her lips and sat back, straddling his thighs.

“Then I guess it’s time you fucked me,” she purred, taking his hands in hers and placing them on her hips. His large hands slipped up to the curves of her breasts, taking them in his palms, tweeking her nipples until she gasped. Impatient, she moved to lift herself up, but George had other ideas. He grasped her hips, holding her fast.

“Not yet Darlin’,” he told her, moving his hands so that his fingers could explore the slick area that lay hidden under the firey red thatch of curls. As he teased with his fingertips, he thought how much he wanted to kiss, to taste the sweetness there. _Not yet_ he told himself, _there is time yet._

“George, oh George please just fuck me already,” she whimpered, her breathing heavy under his touch. Withdrawing his fingers, she watched as he licked them clean, before rising up to kiss her.

He teased his lips against hers, probing with his tongue until she opened her mouth to him. Her hands ran through his hair, pulling him closer, wanting to drown in him. The feeling of her breasts crushed against his chest was maddening, he was so hard it hurt. His hands grasped her hips firmly as they continued to kiss, and he lifted her, holding her aloft before impaling her on his cock.

Their joined lips stifled her cry as he filled her completely, pulling her down until their hips met. Moving slowly at first, she swayed back and forth as he rocked her hips against his. Breaking their kiss, he lay back and watched as they moved in tempo as she searched for her release.

She moaned, cried out to him, calling for him to go harder, faster, deeper. When she came close and her rhythm faltered, it was his turn to flip them, pushing her down onto the bed before hitching her legs up and plunging hard into her. Kissing her ankle where it lay on his shoulder he moved hard and fast in her, his balls slapping against her as he continue to take her.  He watched as she writhed and clenched around his cock before crying out as her orgasm took over her.

George continued to thrust into her, riding the wave of her climax. Grinding against her as he moved, Alanna soon found herself climbing again, crying out for George lost in the feeling of him moving inside her. When her second orgasm overtook her senses she screamed, and he followed her over the ledge, collapsing on top of her.

Pushing him off her, Alanna curled into him, laying her head on his chest and listening to the pounding of his heart. George stroked her back lazily, both of them silent for what seemed like hours, until Alanna finally spoke.

“Round two?”


	7. If you knew what I knew then you’d want to go.

I really don't know how please  
Won't you tell me now  
Why I'm losing myself again

_Losing Myself - Will Young_

 

Wednesday evening came around and found Daine, much to both Numair and Badger’s amusement, blushing as she introduced her tutor to her D&D group. Alongside Daine and Badger the group included Evan, the drama student, his girlfriend Miri and a young girl he recognised from Onua’s who was introduced as Maura. Daine sat next to Maura and Cloud curled up between, watching Numair in a way that could only be described as possessively.

  
A few other faces that Numair recognised from the bar joined them a few moments later, and soon the adventuring party found themselves crossing paths with a strange mage who was riding along the trail awkwardly.  
Numair found the whole idea actually rather interesting. The story, or rather campaign, they were following seemed fairly simple, investigating missing friends, but he had reckoned without Badger’s unique sense of humour. It didn’t take him long to catch on.

“Roll dexterity for me Numair?” Badger asked as their characters continued along the path looking for clues. Looking at the resulting roll, Badger chuckled.

“You notice a blackened crater just within sight down slope from the path, but as you try to see more you fall off your horse,” Badger told him evenly through a big grin. The assembled party laughed.

“What? How?” Numair asked indignantly

“Failed the roll my friend,” Badger explained. “It was just out of sight, as you concentrated on it you lost focus on your riding. ”

“Fine. I’m going to concentrate on riding and go investigate,” He grumbled as Daine lent over to whisper in his ear.

“Don’t be testy,” she scolded softly. “I did tell you to be more even in spending your attributes” Numair reached for her hand and squeezed it once before releasing it, smiling at her.

They continued to roll dice and search for missing companions, Badger taunting them at every bad dice roll, until late. As the game wrapped up for the evening, Daine absent mindedly ruffled Cloud’s ears, smiling as she watched Numair say goodbye to her friends.

“So,” she asked when it was finally just the two of them. “Did you enjoy it? Will you join us again?”

“Of course Magelet. I rather enjoyed it,” he replied, winking at her before he continued. “even if Badger picked on me.” Daine laughed, the sound making Numair happy and he joined in.

“ Hey not my fault you mini-maxed all your attributes my friend, you made it too easy and Badger is a sadistic Dungeon Master.”

“That’s me,” Badger commented as he returned to start cleaning up the table. “The Marquis de D&D.”

Numair glared at him, but was still grinning. It had been a long time since he’d had as much fun as he had that night, at least as much fun whilst sober. Turning his attention back to Daine, he realised how late it had gotten while they played.

“Do you need a lift back to Onua’s?” He asked, grabbing his coat and notepads. “I can’t imagine the bus is fun this time of night?” She turned her face up toward his, mischief sparkling in her stormy eyes.

“No its not. Not for anyone who mess with me or Cloud,” she laughed. “Thank you for the offer, but I’m ok tonight. I’m actually staying in town with Rikash, I’m just waiting for him to meet me… Oh there he is!” Numair turned as she waved, and noticed the guy who had just walked in to the bar.

Cloud had jumped off her lap and trotted over to greet the guy, tail wagging just a little. What the hell thought Numair I’m lucky I don’t get bitten, he gets a wagging tail. The guy looked like trouble, and Numair’s good mood disintegrated as Rikash got closer. The young guy had the too skinny build that Numair would have normally associated with a heroin addict. He wore tight dark jeans and a silver sequin jacket, which he wore open over a bare chest. The glint of shiny silver rings drew attention to his pierced nipples and he wore a silver feather on a long leather string around his neck. His green eyes were surrounded in glitter and looked sleepy where they peaked out through his artfully messy shoulder length blonde hair.  
In short, Numair hated him on sight.

“Hello beauty,” Rikash’s voice was rich, almost seductive, as he drew Daine into a tight hug and kissed her cheek. “Is this the teach?” He jerked his head toward Numair as he picked up her bag.

“Yeah, this is Numair, and Numair this is Rikash.” Daine concentrated on reattaching Cloud’s leash and didn’t notice the two men sizing each other up, Numair’s gaze hard while Rikash just looked amused.

“Nice to meet you Numair,” he drawled, ”I do trust you are keeping my little Veralidaine out of mischief?” Numair was getting the impression his dislike of Rikash was mutual. Was this Daine’s boyfriend he wondered? Surely not, Numair didn’t think it was possible to look more sketchy than this guy did right now. Definitely not right for her, but then he had called me my Veralidaine.

“I’ll see you Saturday morning right Numair?” Daine asked, breaking his reverie. “I’ve got that essay you said you’d help with.”

“Of course Daine,” he replied, giving her a quick hug, “I’ll see you then.”

Once she was released from Numair’s hug, Rikash looped an arm around Daine’s shoulder and lead her from the bar, giving Numair one last sly smile on his way out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Rikash is a little bit of a twink, and I love him.
> 
> Comments, flames, kudos ... basically just interact with me please! I NEED to know what you guys are making of my messed up little headcanon


	8. Reasons my heart knows.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things like healing don't always go in a straight line...

And when i hold you like to tomorrow you might die   
Well that's because you might   
But i am here now   
And i am staying put 

_Manna - Tanya Donnelly_

 

“Ok,” it was early into the afternoon Saturday when Daine had finally had enough of the expression on Numair’s face, “What’s eating at you?” Numair looked up from the paper he was reviewing for her, his eyebrows knotted as he considered her question.

“Nothing Daine,” he replied in an even tone, “I’m fine.” She snorted at that and twisted on the chair she had been reading in until she was looking right at him. They were sat in the “chill out room” in the main house at the Ranch. Being a sunny Saturday everyone else was outside, giving them the run of the place. It was cosier than the office or mess, and Daine liked to lounge on the old sofa when she read. She claimed it helped her concentrate.  

“Mouse manure, you’ve had a sour look on your face all day. Like you tasted something horrid and don’t want to say.” Her eyes were cool, examining him as she spoke. “Spill it Salmalin, or I’m bringing in Bad Cop, and we all know what Cloud will do to make you talk.” She wagged her brows at him, smiling in spite of the deadly seriousness in her tone.

That made him laugh, and he relaxed just a little, the open smile that Daine adored on him appearing again. In truth he was glad she had insisted on dragging it out of him. He was itching to ask, desperate to make sure she wasn’t being taken advantage of, that it wasn’t what he thought it was. He had been trying to figure out all day how to bring it up without success. He was more than happy she had done it for him.

“It’s nothing really,” he said, putting down the essay he held and waving his hand as if it was a trifling matter. “I was just curious about you and Rikash. He doesn’t seem like the kind of person you be friends with. How do you know him?”

“What do you mean _the kind of person I would be friends with?”_ she asked, anger rising in her tone. “Rik is… I mean he’s not conventional sure but I don’t care about that.” She flushed red, and Numair’s heart sunk at the sight. His intuition had been correct then, he was more than a friend.  

“Oh just, he didn’t seem like Badger and Evan,” he tried to explain. “What does he do for work? I can’t imagine he shows up to the office looking like that. I was just wondering how you two got together that’s all.” He looked over her as he spoke, noting the shock and hurt in her expression.

“Got t… together?” Daine spluttered.

“Come on Daine,” he spoke softly. He left where he sat at the table and crouched next to the sofa, placing a comforting hand on Daine’s arm. “You stayed with him overnight, and the way he put his arm around you. It’s obvious that you’re sleeping together. I just want to be sure that you are ok. He looks like someone you should stay away from. What I mean is he doesn’t look like a gentleman, like someone who would treat a woman right. He doesn’t hurt you does he?”

Suddenly he found himself tumbling backwards, losing his balance as she smacked him across the face. Sprawled on the floor he looked up at Daine, now incandescent with rage.

“How fucking DARE YOU!” She cried. “For your information I’ve known him forever, since… God he knew _my MA_ Numair! He is EXACTLY the kind of person I should be friends with, but you obviously aren’t. I can’t believe you would be so bigoted, so conceited. You don’t like his clothes so he’s hurting me as well as fucking me. Tell me, seeing as you’re such an expert, is it normal for a proper gentleman to assume that when I hug my friends I’m up for screwing them. Or are you just _hoping_ I feel that way? For your information I am not, nor ever will be, fucking my incredibly _gay_ friend Rikash. I’m not the person you obviously think I am!”

As he picked himself up from the floor, she turned and ran out the door colliding with a very confused Onua in the doorway

“Daine?” She asked, grabbing her by the shoulders to stop her moving. “Calm down a second. What’s going on?” She looked Daine’s face, seeing red eyes that welled with tears of rage.

“What’s going on is me being right, this whole thing was a bad idea.” Shrugging off Onua’s hands she ran upstairs to her apartment. Onua walked over the threshold to the room, shutting the door behind her.

“What did you do?” She asked, as Numair found a seat on the sofa and put his head in his hands.

 

 

Hoping that a few hours would calm her friend, it was much later when Onua knocked on the door to Daine’s room, waiting until she heard a grunt from inside before she went in. Daine was laying back on her bed, Cloud next to her, holding a book above her. If she was reading or not Onua was unsure, but either way Daine wasn’t looking at her. She suspected those few hours were not going to have been enough to really calm her temper.

“Numair told me his side of it, now its your turn,” she sat on the floor next to Daine’s bed. “I mean I already know he’s a blockheaded idiot but I’d like to know exactly how?” Daine finally looked over at her, and Onua winked. Daine huffed and put down the book.

“He met Rik Wednesday night,” Daine explained. “Not for long, for all of a minute. He not only decided that we must be sleeping together, but he tried to tell me to stay away from him. As if thinking me and Rikash were together isn’t ridiculous enough, how dare he try and tell me who I should be friends with.” She let out another exasperated huff and returned to staring at the ceiling, trying not to cry again.

“He’s worried about you Daine,” Onua told her as she petted Cloud. “He shouldn’t have assumed what he did, but to be totally fair to him if I didn’t know your history I would be a little worried about Rikash. He gives off an aura of I’m bad news. Yes… I know that’s his armour, but Numair doesn’t. You know this, I know you do.”

“It doesn’t excuse him.”

“No,” she agreed, “It doesn’t. It does explain I his actions however, and he _is_ sorry. He told me to tell you that he is sorry, and that he will apologise to Rikash too if you want.” That was something that bugged her. There had been said between them they weren’t telling her, Onua was sure of it. Both had told her the same tale, but the desperation in Numair’s apology that spoke of something else.

“So he’s sorry,” Daine rolled her eyes. “Doesn’t make him any less of a bigoted, judgemental, self righteous arse does it?” Onua sighed, accepting that she wasn’t going to change that assessment of Numair tonight. He would have to fix that himself. She had another question for Daine, one that she was pretty sure she already knew the answer to, but she wasn’t sure if Daine herself realised it.

“Daine,” she asked quietly. “Why didn’t explain why Rikash is so important to you instead of just losing your temper? It’s not like you.”

“Why should I?” She asked in return. “He was being judgemental, deciding he knows exactly who Rikash is after only meeting him once. Based on what, the way he looks, how he decides to dress? He knows one thing, one fragment of who he is, and Numair already decided Rikash is worthless and dangerous.”  

“It’s not like that, and you know it,” Onua said, knowing then she has the root of it right. “Yes, he jumped to a conclusion about Rikash, and he shouldn’t have, but he did try and find out more about him, and he has realised he was wrong. I know if you tell him everything about what happened with Sarra he will understand. He isn’t going to judge you or think badly of you.”

“It’s not about me,” Daine protested. “Or not like that it isn’t. Can’t you see, it’s just exactly why this whole thing is a bad idea Onua. Numair thinks I’m something I’m not, and I guess I believed it too for a while. The reality is that I’m going to be looked on by the world in the same way as Rikash is. We’ve both done things that aren’t right, we’re both criminals. We don’t get the degrees, the good job, the white picket fence. Neither of us deserve anything more than what we have.”   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.. we are getting close to the root of Daine's issues. Even though being a bastard isn't a terrible thing in polite modern society, there are still a few things that are. And isn't it funny how truth comes out in arguments, poor Numair must feel rather nabokovian and concerned how she hit fairly close to the nail. These two.. one step forward, eighteen back! 
> 
> as always. comments are most welcome and wanted.


	9. No Lighthouse or Way Back

My thoughts run off the beaten track  
There's no lighthouse or way back  
Take the hand of God  
And bite the feeder

_Conversations with God - Darren Hayes_

 

Numair hoped that Onua had managed to convince Daine he was sorry. He was, and more than that he was angry at himself. He has made assumptions and hurt her, _again,_ only this time he didn’t have the excuse of ignorance. Honestly, what did he think would happen when he acted like that. He had no right to go off acting like some kind of… what? Over protective parent? Jealous Lover? He was neither of those things, they had just gotten to the point of friends and he had gone and acted the fool and ruined it.

He heard nothing for days, until suddenly his phone pinged Wednesday morning.

_If you are coming to D &D tonight can me and Cloud I bum a lift?_

It was an olive branch, and one that made him unimaginably happy. Much earlier than he needed to, he headed out to the ranch to pick her up. He found her in the stables, grooming burrs out of one of the ponies. She was concentrating on her task, so didn’t notice him stood watching her from outside the stall. Turning and seeing him she jumped.

“God Numair, you nearly gave me a heart attack!” She gasped, laughing as she tried to catch her breath. “you trying to kill me? Standing there all quiet and stalkerish.”

“I was trying to work out how to apologise for last week,” he told her, and the smile in her eyes dropped away and her breathing slowed to normal. She said nothing for a few moments, before sighing to herself.

“It’s fine,” she said. “I mean it’s not, you are still an ass, but I shouldn’t have let myself get so angry. You and Onua are right, Rikash does look like bad news. Onua knows it’s his armour though, you didn’t, but you need to. He’s a sweetheart he really is. You can’t be a sweet cute little gayboi, not living where we did, and not have to learn to protect yourself.” Daine hadn’t wanted to look at Numair as she spoke, but now she raised her eyes and saw the understanding in his eyes.

“I know, Onua said. I mean after she got angry with me for being a hypocrite. Are we ok?” She nodded, patting the pony as she finished her grooming and joined Numair outside the stall.

“Sure,” she winked at him, earning herself a smile. “I expect you to explain why you’re a hypocrite though.”

“I told you, I have secrets Magelet,” he replied, tweeking her nose. “Suffice to say Onua rightly tore me a new one for jumping to conclusions based on appearances.”

“It’s taken _you_ until now to work that out?” she quipped, and he laughed.

“I said I have a lot of degree’s, I never said I was smart.”

 

After another D&D session where Badger picked on him mercilessly (this time via NPC’s mocking him tirelessly as he probed for information), Numair was happy to find that their easy friendship was back on its even keel. Content that he was forgiven for his disastrous assumption, he took the opportunity to indulge his curiosity as he drove her home.

“You never answered me by the way, how did you meet Rikash?” he said, “I have a feeling it’s a great story.”

So, Daine told Numair the tale of Rikash Moonsword. How his parents kicked him out when they found him and his best friend naked in bed together. He was lucky in a way, he was cute, so he managed to find himself an older “Daddy” to look after him, that is until he became violent. Rikash ended up finding his way to Sarra; she looked after the sex workers in the neighbourhood, patching them up when clients got nasty. The kindly nurse took one look at the boy who walked in her door bruised and bleeding and told him that dinner was at seven pm every day, and he was expected to mind his language and help her daughter clear the table afterwards.

“Your Mum sounds like a wonderful person,” Numair told her, and she smiled shyly.

“She was. I mean she was strict too, we struggled a lot, but we were happy. I remember when she told me about Rikash, it was a heavily sanitised version mind, but she told me that not every family loves each other unconditionally like we did. That was why we had to look after Rik because he deserved love too, and it shouldn’t be denied to him because of what he is, his nature wasn’t a choice it just _was._ Ma was like that, didn’t matter what other people thought, if your heart was good you were one of hers.” Daine reached around the seat to bury her fingers in Cloud’s fur, a sadness falling over her expression.

“Do you think I’d have passed her inspection?”

“Maybe,” she replied, “She’d have definitely pegged you as strange mind you, but yeah, you’d likely have passed.” Numair laughed heartily and noticed out of the corner of his eye that Daine was smiling again.

“Strange huh?” he said. “Well, I’ve heard worse, so I’ll take the compliment.”

“You’re either easily pleased or incredibly vain,” she quipped through more laughter, “I know which I’m betting on.” A moment of comfortable silence passed between them before Numair spoke again.

“What happened to her?” he asked quietly, regretting his curious nature when he heard Daine’s sharp intake of breath. “Sorry I shouldn’t have asked…”

“She was murdered,” the soft murmur interrupted his attempt at apology.

“I’m sorry Daine, I didn’t mean to upset you. You don’t need to talk about it,” Numair’s voice was soft and kind, and it made Daine feel comforted, safe. She had found she liked him, enjoyed his company. She shouldn’t get upset that he wanted to know about her.

“Don’t worry about it” she said, concentrating again on Clouds warm muzzle on her shoulder.

“Did they find the guy?” he asked. She nodded, which he barely saw in his peripheral vision, her eyes glistening and too bright with unshed tears. Reaching for her hand, he squeezed it gently and they continued the journey in silence. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when I was plotting this AU I thought about what sort of acts/lifestyles would carry the same stigmas as bastardy in this day and age, which is why Sarra is a nurse who looks after sex workers, and why instead of needing to feed on fear and befoul battle casualties Rikash needed to sell himself. I won’t go into all my decisions when it came to translating the slightly darker side but I hope that you see where it came from. As always I love your comments etc


	10. Love's a State of Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alanna returns from Sarain

She rings like a bell through the night and  
Wouldn't you love to love her?  
She rules her life like a bird in flight and  
Who will be her lover?

_Rhiannon – Fleetwood Mac_

Numair spent his drive back going over the last few days of conversation, or lack of it, with Daine. There was something else she wasn’t telling him, he knew it, something that left her broken. He wished she would trust him, he wished he could help her. Something about Daine stirred an urge to look after her, ease her hurt, take some of the heavy load she carried on her young shoulders.

His thoughts were still stuck on her when he arrived back at the apartment . Once inside he headed straight to the open plan kitchen area to grab himself a beer from the fridge. He didn’t notice he wasn’t alone until he heard her voice.

“Great plan, grab me one too will you.”

“FUCKING HELL!” he spluttered, coughing as his gulp of beer went both down the wrong way and out of his nose. “Damnit Alanna you scared the shit out of me.” She laughed, rising from where she sat on the sofa and walked over to him, hands on her hips. Her pale skin was dabbled with freckles from the sun, her copper hair damp and longer than he remembered it. She looked relaxed… free.

“Some houseguest you are, all me-me-me,” she mocked as she handed Numair a dishcloth so he could wipe the beer still dripping from his face. “What is the point of putting up with you if I have to get my own bloody beer. I mean it’s not like I like you.” Her violet eyes glared at him, in stark contrast to the smirk on her face. He met her stare for a few moments before laughing and lifting her into a bear hug.

“Oi, unhand me you beast!” the redhead yelped, laughing and battering his shoulders.

“Hags Bones it’s good to see you Alanna,” Numair sighed as he let her go. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming back? When did you get in?” She opened her beer and returned to the sofa, Numair joining her.

“I didn’t know when we would manage to get on a flight, we’ve been on standby for days.” Numair turned, looking for the alluded to other party. “I bought Thayet back with me, she’s at Buri’s. My one ticket became two standby seats. Before you ask, I just about had time to shower before you got here so no I haven’t spoken to Jon yet.”

“And George?”

“I’ve not seen George. Give me a break for gods sakes!” her temper flared and she glared at him. “And you can stop looking at me like that, I don’t know what you think you know …”

“I know that Jon has been out with George and I getting drunk, missing you and wondering if you’ll ever come back and forgive him,” Numair interrupted her, his tone cool. “I also know that George has been feeling _really_ guilty that Jon is confiding in him, when all he can think about is you two sleeping together. Well, that and how much he wants to do it again. Oh yeah Alanna, I know.” She wanted nothing more than to smack the smirk off his face right then, instead she concentrated on tearing the label off the bottle in her hand.

“Did George tell you?” She asked, keeping her temper reined in, too afraid to ask what she really wanted to. _Does Jon know?_

“No, and no to the other thing you want to know too. If Jon knew, George wouldn’t be feeling guilty over keeping it from him,” Numair bumped her shoulder with his. “George asked me a lot of questions about when you visited, I connected the dots. So I’ll accept no mocking of my love life anymore, you got that Lioness?” She laughed at that.

“I’d hardly call your tabloid fodder history a _love_ life,” she retorted. “But yes, ok, you win I won’t mock your _sex life_ anymore. On that note I’m glad to see the flat is in one piece. I guess you kept to the no orgies rule. Is this a sign that you’ve turned over a new leaf, or just a dry spell.”  

“Don’t change the subject Alanna. Did you figure out what you needed to, what you want to do? I mean, did it help you clear your head going to Sarain?”

“Yeah, it did,” she said. “I cleared my head. All that will have to wait until I’ve recovered from the damn jet lag though. Right now, I expect you to tell me all the gossip I’ve missed out on. Starting with what, sorry I mean _whom_ has you coming in and heading straight for the beer?

 

 

Jon Conte was trying to solve a problem, which wasn’t an unusual thing for a Thursday afternoon. What was unusual was that it wasn’t a work problem. His mother had called, leaving a message that his presence was requested at one of her charity events the next night. Usually not a problem, except she had made specific reference to the fact that Josaine would be there too.

He knew exactly why Lady Lianne mentioned it, the same way he knew exactly what his mother expected him to do about it. The lovely Josaine was exactly what Lianne hoped for in a daughter in law; she was refined, poised, elegant and quite beautiful. She was sadly vain, conceited and cruel amongst other faults, but those alone were enough for Jon to loose what little interest he had in her to start with. If he was honest with himself he only persued her to start with to piss off Alanna, to try and get a rise out of her. Not only did it not work, but he was now left without his best friend, trying to work out how to extract himself from the _relationship_ he had somehow gotten into.

He was still trying to think of another new way to try to get Josaine to back off when he heard the gentle knock at his office door. Sighing, he picked up the paperwork he was supposed to be working on and called out to his assistant.

“Come in Jeremy,” he said, not looking up as the door opened. “Just pop the revised contracts on the table Jeremy I’ll get to them in a moment. Could you grab me a coffee and order me in the usual lunch, I think I’m going to have to work through.”

“Jeremy?” the familiar voice caused him to freeze, and he looked up to see the stocky redhaired woman slaunter into his office, closing the door behind her. “What happened to Dot.. don’t tell me that the lovely Josaine was jealous of the lovely Dorothy and made you hire a new PA?” Her stunning violet eyes sparkled with mirth as she teased him and took the seat opposite his at his desk.

“Alanna,” he breathed, smiling. “When did you get back?” When she smiled back he found he felt nervous, and ran his hands through his hair like his did as a teenager.

“Last night,” she answered softly. “Sorry I didn’t give you any warning. I didn’t tell anyone when I was due back, I was hoping to catch Numair mid orgy but no such luck. How are you Jon?”

“I’m sorry, I really am fire-hair,” the use of her childhood identifier makes her laugh.

“God you haven’t called me that in years!” she rolls her eyes at him and blushes, remembering how awkward she was when they first met. They were past that, she told herself, stop being so timid! “I’m sorry too. I think we both said a few things last time that we didn’t mean and don’t need going over.”

“No, I guess not,” he agreed, and they sat in comfortable silence for a moment before the both stood and enveloped eachother in an awkward hug.  

“God I missed you,” she spoke into his shoulder. “It was weird not having a pompous prat trailing after me all the time.”

“I missed you too,” he replied, letting her go and moving to the comfy sitting area by his office window. “No one was telling me to stop being a twat. I couldn’t cope with it.” He laughed, tossing her a bottle of water from the small drinks cabinet, and sitting down with his own.  Alanna looked out over the view from the window.

“I always forget how great this view is,” she murmered, before turning back to Jon and joining him on the leather seats. “I guess nepotistic appointments get you the good offices huh?’

“Got to be some perks to having no choice in your career path,” he retorted. “How have you been Alanna? How was Sarain?”

“It was good, just what I needed,” she said, smirking as she asked, “You didn’t answer me thought wheres Dot?”

“Holiday,” he laughed, recalling the verbal sparring matches Alanna and his venerable assistant would have, the grey-haired Dot more than a match for his fire haired love. As he remembered back and smiled, he recalled Alanna’s assumption about the cause of her absence.

“Alanna,” he spoke earnestly, meeting her eyes, “about Josaine, Its nothing I …” Before he could finish she held up a hand, cutting him off.

“Jon, you don’t need to explain,” she insisted. “We DID break up.”

“I know we did,” he agreed, “but I still love you. You know that I do and I always will.” Reaching forwards, he took her hand in his.

“Jon… “

“No please Alanna let me finish,” he pleaded, and she nodded, letting him continue this time. “In all the years we’ve been friends you’ve never been false with me. I should have listened to you over Roger, and I should _never_ have asked you to change who you are. I asked for your hand and I meant it, if you still want me. Josaine is.. well she was a mistake who cannot take the hint, forget about her. You know I’d still marry you if you said yes, all that other rubbish be damned.” Alanna shook her head, and leaned forward to kiss his cheek, claiming back her hand as she did.

“I know you would,” she told him, as she sat back in her seat, out of his reach. “I love you, you’re my best friend and that’s the problem. If you weren’t then this relationship we have would have burnt out years ago. Instead we’ve kept it on life support, but it’s time to let it go. I love you Jon, but I’m not in love with you and you aren’t in love with me, not like that, not like either of us deserve.”

“We could make a go of it Alanna,” he told her softly. “If you wanted to.”

“I don’t,” she told him. It wasn’t said cruelly, just honestly, and as he looked down at his hands Jon nodded his understanding. “I want the real thing. I deserve it Jon, and so do you.”

“I know you’re right,” he agreed. “I just don’t want to lose you. You’ll stay part of my life right?” He returned his eyes to hers and was happily surprised to see her regarding him with a raised eyebrow.

“Of course I will you dumb twat,” she snorted, shaking her head at him. “I told you, your my best friend. It would take more than this for me to give up on that. One condition though, I want veto power over who you fuck, at least until I know I can trust your taste. Josaine… really?” Jon found himself laughing until tears pricked at the corners of his eyes

“Hey I just broke up with my girlfriend,” he cried in his defence. “I was in a bad place! Oh god I missed how you make me laugh. Of course you get veto, I don’t trust me either! We just have to get rid of Josaine before you can exercise your power.”

He watched amused as Alanna laced her fingers together and flexed them, cracking her knuckles and beaming with the grin that got them into so much trouble in high school.

“Oh I think I can handle that.”


	11. Let the Words Fall Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Onua (and Badger) decide enough is enough.

Maybe there's a way out of the cage where you live  
Maybe one of these days you can let the light in  
Show me how big your brave is

_Brave – Sara Bareilles_

 

The only immediate effect of Alanna’s return that Daine noticed was an increasingly tense atmosphere at Pirates Swoop. According to Badger, the wandering lady hadn’t come by, and George was getting more and more antsy. Not, of course, that he took the initiative to go visit her, or call, or even _return_ the call she had made. George did little for the first week or so of Alanna’s return except fuss over the running of the bar and taking his mood out on anyone who came within a five-mile radius.

Which was how Daine ended up sat in the back bar blowing up balloons with Onua as part of what she could only describe as a most unusual intervention. Onua had dragged her into setting up her birthday party, a party to which she had invited Alanna and George with the getting them to talk so George would stop tormenting everyone.

“So are you going to explain this to me?” Daine asked as she pumped up balloons. “Not that I don’t want to celebrate your birthday but how is this going to sort out George.” Onua laughed.

“It’s simple really,” she told Daine smugly. “Alanna will be here, they won’t be able to avoid each other, and if that doesn’t work I’ll insist he talks to her because it's my birthday.” Badger snorted from his place behind the bar. The three of them were the only people in the back bar, Tahoi, and Cloud lazing by the double doors to the main bar, guarding them against interlopers despite their doggy snores being evidence to the contrary.

“Ok, I see how that works,” Daine agreed. “But why do I have to be here?”

“Because it's bad enough that I’m setting up my own party without doing it on my own. That, and it feels like ages since we’ve had time to properly chat. How is everything going with you?”

“I’m fine Onua,” Daine sighed as she strung up another bunch of balloons. “Cloud is fine and so is school and work. This guy over there is picking on me though if you want to sort him out.” She smirked and nodded in the direction of Badger. The barman was pointedly ignoring Daine while he busily wiped down the bar and taps.

“Badger, picking on someone? Never!” Onua laughed in mock outrage. Becoming a bit more serious she added, “What you been doing old man?” Dragged back into the conversation Badger rolled his eyes.

“It’s not pickin on yer when I’m sayin be nicer to Numair,” he grumbled at the two women. “ Yer freezin’ him out and it ain’t fair. He cares, and you keepin him at arm's length. You’re allowed to let people in luv.”

“I’m not freezing anyone out!” came the retort. “Not that its any of your damn business if I was!” Badger let out a loud barking laugh.

“So yer tellin’ me its complete coincidence that you went from teasin’ each other to being all monosyllabic?” He raised his eyebrow to Daine as they talked and she looked away. “He’s too nervous to say anything in case he upsets you, but it ain’t fair lass. If he knew about your Ma and… “

“Shut up Badger.”

The anger was palatable in the air, and Badger turned back to his task, the subject dropped. Daine busied herself as far from him as she could, and Onua found herself thinking. Despite his tendency for foot-in-mouth, Daine and Numair had fallen into an easy friendship. As they got to know each other, Onua watched the way Daine lit up when they talked about whatever subject they were dissecting that day, falling easily into lengthy animated discussions. If Badger had it right, that was no longer the case.

While she might be catching up in school, the main goal of Onua’s interference seemed to be floundering. Not only had Daine not learned to trust, but all that openness that had grown between her and Numair was breaking apart. Onua had tried it Daine’s way, tried to give her time to open up on her own terms, but she was beginning to think that was an approach that would never work. She hadn’t anticipated their obvious chemistry, but even that couldn’t get past her fear of rejection.  It was time for Onua to take control.

 

Daine was sat at a booth tieing balloons into bunches when the tall frosted glass came into view. She looked up to see Onua sit down opposite her.

“Don’t tell George,” she said, winking as she slid the drink toward Daine. “Seeing as I’ve taken your Saturday away from you, I figured you could do with a pint. Plus, I wanted to talk to you about my present.” Daine smiled and clinked her glass to Onua’s and both women took a sip.   

“So what is it you’re angling for Onua? You already have a pony so what is it. Want me to file that small forest of paperwork taking root on your desk?”

Onua laughed and took another longer drink from her beer. Leveling her eyes at her friend opposite her she reached out and placed a hand over Daine’s.

“That would be fantastic, but no. I want you to tell Numair.” Daine paled and startled eyes met Onua’s as she shook her head. “Hear me out.  You think we all, that everyone is judging you because of what happened. It’s not true if anything I wish I had your strength.”

Onua slid her smartphone across the table. The browser was open to a news site, the headline proclaiming “ _IMPERIAL CTO ARRESTED FOR SEX TRAFFICKING_ ”. Curious, Daine read through the article wondering what Onua’s point was. Halfway down the article, she reached a photograph, and while she had never seen the man being escorted by armed officers before, his features were familiar. His dark eyes and long nose she knew, the short wavy hair had thrown her. Numair’s hair was longer now. Her brows furrowed and she looked to Onua for an explanation.

“He’s on police bail,” Onua explained. “There is no proof, yet, but he says his business partner organized the whole thing and set him up to take the fall. I know that he feels incredibly guilty for his part in it.”

“God why? He didn’t know did he?” Daine was trying to process it all. She recalled his face when she joked he was a sexual pervert. He had choked on nothing but air.

“What does your gut tell you Daine?” Onua asked her. “I’ve known Numair long enough to know in mine that he didn’t, just like I know he won’t react how you think he will. You know, Tahoi will likely need to visit a tree before the party really kicks off, I’m sure Cloud would too. Maybe you can take them to the park down the street. It’s a nice place to sit and talk.”

 

Neither woman really spoke to the other for the next hour, instead letting things settle. It was a comfortable silence, there was little more for either of them to say. With the decorating done, Daine played with the dogs while Onua and Badger chatted at the bar. Slowly people started to arrive.

When Numair arrived and greeted her, Onua looked over at Daine and smiled softly. Rising to her feet, she headed over to where he and Onua stood.

“Hey Numair,” she started softly. “Do you, I mean I’m taking the hounds out to stretch their legs. Fancy coming with me?” Onua’s comforting touch as she handed over Tahoi’s leash didn’t go unnoticed, and he agreed readily.

They walked the few blocks to the park, Daine’s nerves obvious. At the park, they sat on a bench as Daine idly tossed a ball for Tahoi and Cloud, but mostly just staring at her feet. The short stroll had taken place in silence, Numair watching her with concern as she seemed to be arguing with herself over something. Sat next to her now, he reached to take her hand but she moved away from his touch.


	12. No Way to Make the Pain Play Fair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daine finally confesses to Numair.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING - some pretty nasty discussion about Sarra’s Murder & sexual violence. Details in the end of chapter notes if you want to skip/spoiler the deets

What is broken cannot show, and less than beautiful is worse than unholy  
Idolized my innocence,  
Stole it from me in the end  
Now I'm wide awakened and still paying for the poison they sold me

_Eden – Sara Bareilles_

_They walked the few blocks to the park, Daine’s nerves obvious. At the park, they sat on a bench as Daine idly tossed a ball for Tahoi and Cloud, but mostly just staring at her feet. The short stroll had taken place in silence, Numair watching her with concern as she seemed to be arguing with herself over something. Sat next to her now, he reached to take her hand but she moved away from his touch._

“Don’t stop me once I start ok. If you interrupt me I’m not sure I’ll get it all out. Onua’s right, she said I should trust you and I do, it’s just hard. I hope you don’t hate me after you hear what I did.

I never knew my Da, he was gone before I was born, so it was always just Ma and me. Like I told you, She was a nurse, and so kind. Everyone loved her. What with being _that_ area of town, everyone said our neighborhood was bad, but not to us. Ma liked it, it was close to the hospital and cheap, and we all used to look out for each other, me, Ma and the girls who worked the streets outside. I know some people think they’re no better than animals but to us they were family.

Ma was really pretty, she always had guys, even some of the big fancy doctors at the hospital, asking her for dates. She always said no, she was still in love with my Da. They always asked, and she always politely said no, my Da wouldn’t like it, and that was that. I think she was still waiting for him to come back, not that he ever did.

Most of the guys were ok with it, some weren’t but they always gave up in the end. Except him. He’d been the super in the building, and he was always asking her to dinner or whatever. He started following her, and once she thought he’d been in the apartment while we were out. In the end, Ma went to the police and he was fired. We thought that was the end of it.

The day it happened, I was supposed to be at softball, but the coach was sick. I got home earlier than I should have because practice was cancelled. I saw Cloud first, she had tried to protect Ma and was lying not far from the door, whining and bleeding. I was about to run to her when I saw Ma. She wasn’t supposed to be home, but she was on the floor, she’d been on her way out to work when he forced his way in. She was wearing her nurses uniform, he had always leered at her in it, making comments about slutty nurses, so he left it on her.  It was pushed up to her waist and he was on top of her. He didn’t notice me come in, but I could see what he was doing, I could hear the noises he was making.

I had my softball bat in my hands, and the next thing I remember is holding it and it was red. He wasn’t on Ma anymore, and he wasn’t moving. I tried to wake her up, but she wouldn’t wake up. Cloud crawled her way over to me and that’s where Wolvie found us, holding Ma trying to wake her up.

Wolvie was one of the older girls Ma helped, She looked on Ma like they were sisters, she’d cook dinner for me and Rik when Mom worked nights. She saw what had happened and realized that best-case scenario, I would end up in the system as soon as the cops realized I was alone. Even if Wolvie had a proper job, they’d never let her keep me not even for a night, being that she was still legally a man you see, not to mention a working girl. She wouldn’t be considered safe which is fair ridiculous because Ma trusted her to look after me, but then she always said people with power had no sense. Wolvie picked me up off the floor and carried me to her apartment down the hall. She called Rikash to come and look after me while she called the police about Ma, and she took Cloud to the vet. Rik stayed with me all night and held me while I slept. Poor guy, every time he tried to move away I would wake up crying from the nightmare behind my eyes, but he stayed with me.

All I could see when I closed my eyes was blood. I’d killed a man. He may have been evil, but he was still dead. I had kept hitting and hitting him until there wasn’t much left of his head. Ma was covered in blood, I thought I’d hit her by mistake and killed her too. I found out later that he had held her by the throat while he raped her. They didn’t think he meant to, but he choked her. She was dead before I even got home.

To start with, Wolvie said she didn’t know where I was. The story she told them was she found the door open and saw Ma, but I was nowhere to be found. The cops figured that I ran off scared after I stopped him. It was a few days later Wolvie, Rikash and the other girls talked about what to do with me. A lot of the girls had a rough time in care, and Rik ended up in Juvvie for a few months when he first left home. Even though it was self-defense, he knew I’d end up there while the courts decided what to do with me. I was still waking up every night screaming. Kitt, one of the girls, insisted I would be better off with them, better off with family than strangers. So they decided to keep me safe themselves, hiding me. They owed Ma that much. We moved between them all, me and Cloud, Rikash and her Wolvie’s pack of girls looking out for me.

It worked fine until I was fifteen and got a job. It was perfect, just at the grocery store cleaning and stocking shelves after hours for minimum wage, but no one to recognize me and no one cared that I hadn’t finished school. Then the place was robbed, and they dusted the whole place for prints. Mine has been taken from the apartment when Ma died, and of course they flagged up. I didn’t even think about it, but they came for me when I showed up for work the next night.

Of course, I told them I had been sleeping rough, not that they believed me but they couldn’t prove anything. Rikash took Cloud for me while I was bounced around from placement to placement. I’d killed a man and run from it for nearly three years. It might have been justified, but they still had to put me into care and in front of a judge. They had to decide what to do with the little murderer. One of the things they decided was to send me to Onua’s.

That’s why I got so mad when you tried to tell me to stay away from Rik, he may be all the things you said, but he’s family. He’s no worse than I am, I’m a criminal, a bad element, whatever you call it I’m someone good people shouldn’t be around. It’s why I keep telling you and Onua its stupid for me to try and continue on in school. People like me, _murderers_ , we don’t get to have those kinds of futures. I killed someone, I lost control and bashed his head with a bat until there was nothing left. I don’t get to have normal anymore.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took some thinking to work out what would result in Daine's insecurities in a modern/non-magical world.
> 
> Illegitamacy isn't an issue, she has no magic, so what could possibly have made her think she didn't deserve the friendship of people like Numair and Alanna? What could possibly have happened when Sarra died that Daine would be afraid to talk about. Also, it was always between the lines that’s why they went for Sarra anyway. 
> 
> Let me know in the comments what you think of my solution.
> 
> SPOILERS
> 
> Daine discovered Sarra choked and being raped by her attacker, and blacked out. When she ‘came to’ she had beaten the guy to death, but it was too late for her mum. 
> 
> The local community of sex workers who had been Sarra’s friends including Rikash found and hid Daine from the law/social services but she was eventually caught and sent to Onua’s. While it was self defence she still sees it as murder.


	13. Helpless to the bass and the fading light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone converges at Onua's Birthday Party

Oh don't you dare look back  
Just keep your eyes on me  
I said you're holding back  
She said shut up and dance with me

_Shut up and Dance  - Walk the Moon_

 

Daine couldn’t have said when during her tale she had started crying, but she knew that it was the moment Numair hugged her that her silent tears become racking sobs. His strong arms held her still as all the tension flowed out of her with her tears.

“You aren’t a murderer sweet. You were trying to save your Mother, what you did was so very brave.” Numair murmured softly as he held her, trying to assure her he didn’t think badly of her like she seemed to think he would.

The reality was, as much as he was lost for the words to describe how he felt, he knew that it wasn’t remotely what she feared. He understood now her dread, why she wanted to keep that part of her hidden. He could only imagine what she must have felt, stumbling onto that scene, and then coming to herself with blood on her hands. Holding her while she calmed, it wasn’t long before Cloud and Tahoi came to sit by them. Feeling the weight of the dogs against her legs, Daine lifted her head and laughed.

“At least I’ll always have you two furballs,” she mumbled, reaching to scratch the two furry heads at her feet. Numair placed his hand gently under her chin, and tilted it up so she was looking at him.

“You have me too,” his eyes were intent on hers as he spoke. “Thank you for trusting me Daine. I am so sorry you had to live through that.”

“You don’t care?” she asked hopefully, dropping her gaze from his. “It doesn’t bother you, what I did?”

“That you… that it happened to you _bothers_ me greatly,” he assured her as he slowly eased out of their embrace. “That you did what you did upsets me because it has made you feel you don’t deserve happiness. It doesn’t make you any less worthy of it than I am, or Onua, or anyone else.” She looked up at him, and he saw skepticism there, but she was smiling. He stood, putting Tahoi back on his leash, before holding his hand out to the still sitting Daine, who took it and rose to her feet, following as he headed out of the park.  

“I think it’s about time we headed back to Onua’s party, don’t you? Did I happen to mention Magelet, that all my old university friends will be there and they are all just dying to meet you. Just don’t listen to anything they tell you about me, especially if it involves twins.” She laughed, his attempt to lighten the mood working as he looped his arm over her shoulders and gave her a squeeze. “I feel I may need a few stiff drinks to get through it, will you look after your favourite tutor if he gets too drunk? For extra credit of course.”

“Yes Sir,” she said mockingly, to his great amusement.

“Oh, I like that! Represents the proper amount of respect I am due. From now on I expect to be called Sir, or Mr Salmalin.” His tone teasing and he looked thoroughly chuffed, causing Daine to roll her eyes at him.

“Of course, Mr Salmalin,” she replied, dripping sarcasm. “Shall I bring a riding crop next time we have class at Onua’s... _Sir?”_

“Why yes. I’ll need to punish you for all the lip you’re giving me right now.”  

 

* * *

 

 

George was nervously watching the bar door as Raoul regaled him with tales of the latest prank Dom and Wolset had played on Lerant. Usually, Raoul’s stories about the hijinks he and the lads in his office got up to amused George greatly but today he was too distracted to pay attention.

“… so, then Lerant decided that Wolset was behind the whole thing and as revenge signed him up to this website saying he was looking for a large breasted woman to be his “mommy”. Of course, Wolset starts getting phone calls and is livid. Then, he starts getting _interesting_ photos sent to his phone and in the end, he met up with this one woman. Holy hell was she WILD, did the whole office train style, at one point she had one in every hole. Did I mention she looked like your Mum?”

“Sorry Raoul, who looked like Ma?” George shook his head, trying to recall what Raoul had been telling him. He laughed as it came back to him. “Who was where? Just so I know when I next see Dom.” Raoul snorted.  

“What’s got you so distracted? Or should I say who?” when George cast him a withering look Raoul laughed heartily. At the same moment the door opened, and George’s attention snapped back to the door, and Raoul noticed him let out a breath when he saw it was Numair accompanied by Onua’s dog and a girl. Tahoi and the other dog with them curled in the corner, sitting watch over the party while the pair headed over to them.

As they got closer, he recognised her as Onua’s friend that Numair was tutoring. Numair introduced them briefly before heading to the bar for drinks. As they chatted about nothing in particular Raoul found himself appraising the girl in front of him. Young, yes, but holding her own with George’s banter, and rather pretty with her curly hair and bright eyes. Those same eyes flitted nervously to Numair every few moments, as if she needed to confirm he was still there with her. He found his thoughts turning more to exactly how true George’s jests had been that night a few weeks before, rather than why he was so anxious about who might be coming in the door.

 

* * *

 

“… decided the best course of action was to take up busking. Which is how we found him juggling in the street with a top hat at his feet.” Daine giggled as Raoul finished his tale, while Numair blushed.

“I maintain it was a sound plan,” he mumbled, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “Why did I decide to introduce you lot again?”

Numair may have been complaining, but as he watched Daine’s face light up as she laughed, he knew any embarrassment was worth it. This was what Onua has asked him to do, bring the joy back to her life. He’d never been happier he agreed to help than he was when he heard her laugh.  

“You know, I was told not to believe anything you had to say,” Daine informed Raoul. “ _Especially_ if it involved twins. So, what’s the story there?” Raoul’s eyes lit up like a Christmas tree, grinning widely as he opened his mouth to speak.

“Where’s Jon?” Numair asked, jumping in before Raoul could start telling that story. “And where is Alanna for that matter, I thought they’d be here by now? I was hoping for some fireworks when Alanna meets Josiane.” Raoul chuckled and shook his head sadly, thankfully efficiently distracted from telling the story of the twins.

George laughed along too, but inside his heart was pounding like a hammer. Silently he thanked Numair, he hadn’t wanted to ask for news of Alanna, but he beginning to get desperate for information. She had been home for over a week and he hadn’t heard a thing from her. It was killing him.

The last time he had seen her, they lay side by side in his bed. Her copper hair was splayed over the pillow, her soft moans enticing him to move harder as he kissed and bit at her throat. He felt his cock stir as he recalled how it felt to be inside her, finally, after loving her for so many years. He had loved her for so long, those two days before she had left on her trip were the best hours of his life. He had been able to taste her, feel her, do all those things he had dreamt of.

“Oh, you missed those fireworks!” Raoul replied, as George left his memories and returned his attention to the conversation. “Gary told me they met a few days ago. Our girl sent her packing. Apparently, Josiane turned up at Jon’s in just a trench coat trying to seduce him back into bed with her but found Alanna instead! I’ll let them tell you the details though, I don’t think I could get through telling it without laughing.”

George’s heart plummeted as the conversation continued around him. Alanna was back, had seen Jon, and scared off the woman who had replaced her in his bed. It was fairly obvious to him why she hadn’t called him, and as much as Jon was his friend, at that moment he hated him.

 

* * *

 

After a few more embarrassing stories of misspent university education, Daine excused herself and headed over to talk to Onua, who was now sat speaking to two women Daine didn’t recognise.

“Daine, this is my cousin Buri,” she motioned toward the shorter of the two women, “and this is her cousin Thayet.”

Whereas Buri resembled Onua, both pretty with their golden skin and black hair, Thayet was nothing short of breathtaking. Her coal-black hair fell in curls against her ivory skin, and green hazel eyes sat under level brows. Daine couldn’t help but think that she was the most beautiful woman she’d ever see.

“Onua's told us so much about you,” Thayet motioned toward the empty seat beside her. As she sat, Daine looked at her friend, who winked at her to reassure her.

“All good things I promise Daine. You good?” Onua’s question was pointed, and she met Daine’s eyes as she spoke. She wondered how it had gone with Numair, it had been a hard decision for Onua to force the issue as she had. As much as the push was needed, she hoped it hadn’t been a push too far. Daine’s expression was nervous, betraying her feelings of awkwardness at meeting new people, but she smiled at Onua and nodded gently.

“I’m ok Onua, good actually,” she smiled and continued. “Raoul and George were just telling me stories of what they all got up to in university. Well, it was mostly stuff that Numair did. Seems like he got them into a lot of trouble.” Buri snorted, while Thayet and Onua raised their eyebrows.

“Don’t believe it,” Buri said. “Wait until Alanna gets going, she’ll tell you the _real_ stories. Speak of the devil.” She smiled as a redhaired woman came up beside Daine, pulling a stool over to join them at the table. She was wearing a loose, short dress that showed the lean muscle of her limbs. Despite her almost masculine frame, Daine noted that It looked good on her, not that she looked entirely comfortable in it.

“Oh Goddess, what lies are those lads telling now?” she exclaimed, laughing as she took a swig of her beer.

“Alanna!” Onua exclaimed happily. Buri smirked at Thayet, obviously thinking it was getting close to time to cut Onua off. “It’s so good to have you back.” Alanna leaned over the table to give her friend an awkward hug.

“It’s good to be home, not least to see the rare sight of Onua Chamtong drunk.” Looking over at Daine, her violet eyes sparkled. “You must be Daine. Arram, sorry Numair, talks a lot about you. It’s great to finally put a face to the stories. But tell me, exactly what tall tales are the boys telling _now?_ I bet they’re leaving out all the good stuff, they never admit to the funniest stuff unless I’m around to make them. Did they tell you George thought I was a boy when he met me, for almost a year.”

“What?” Daine exclaimed, looking around for confirmation, which was readily given with a trio of nods. “Odds bobs I need details. How did he not know?” She looked over Alanna again, trying to understand how someone could think her a guy for that long, let alone while being her good friend.

“My hair was a lot shorter then, and I was still in training bras,” she started, noticing Daine’s appraising look. “I have a twin brother, and I always wanted to be just like him. I threw a fit at the idea of going to a convent school, refused to be a girl, tried to be just like Thom. I dressed like I dressed like a boy and refused to answer to anything but Alan. It wasn’t intentional at first, but after a while it was much too funny to tell him, Jon thought it would be much more amusing to let him find out on his own. Eventually, Gary got tired of waiting, and decided to pull me into the water one afternoon while we were hanging out by the pond at Jon’s place. Instant wet t-shirt situation. When he realised I was a girl he blushed like a virgin on her wedding night.” A twinkle in the redheads eye told that there was more to the story.

“Why the blushing?” Daine asked, her suspicion confirmed when Alanna smirked.

“George _might_ have been getting changed on the bank when he noticed exactly what my wet shirt was clinging to. Not that I minded, Cooper looks damn fine naked.”

  

* * *

 

 

Eventually, the assembled group of staff and friends decided dancing was in order, pushing aside the tables to make room for a makeshift dance floor. Sarge, the gentle giant who was Onua’s deputy, was surprisingly dainty on his feet and had encouraged Badger to turn up the volume and turn this into a “proper party”. Pulling the birthday girl up to dance, he got a few songs out of her before she gave up and sat back down with Buri.

It didn’t stop the others from indulging though. Amongst the dancers were Evin and Miri, whom Numair had learned worked for Onua. They swayed from side to side at the edge of the group of dancers, while nearby Gary and his wife Cythera danced similarly. The older couple had a bit more distance between their bodies than the younger couple, but not by much. George called out from the bar, teasing the lovers about their display, sneaking a look to where Alanna sat in a booth with Daine, Numair, and Raoul. She was regaling them with stories of her travels, while Thayet shared news of home with Onua and Buri when he noticed Jon had finally arrived. Returning his attention to helping Badger fix drinks, he didn’t see Jon stop his movement toward Alanna’s group, and head straight toward Onua instead.

“Happy Birthday Onua,” Jon said as he kissed her cheek in greeting, having snuck up on her unnoticed. As he sat with the women, he turned his attention to the newcomer amongst them.

“I’m Jon, I don’t believe we’ve met?” Thayet looked him over as he introduced himself. Alanna had spoken about Jon, rather a lot, most of it good even though it was coloured by her own emotions. Now, Thayet started to take her own measure of the man, but soon found herself distracted by his sapphire blue eyes.

I’m Thayet, I’ve heard a lot about you”

“I hope nothing too terrible,” he replied, his focus entirely on her. “I’ve heard a lot about you too, but in your case Alanna had nothing to say that wasn’t good. I doubt I had the same curtesy. I’ve known her too long, she knows too many of my secrets. Can I tempt you into a dance? I promise to be on my best behavior.”

If he noticed the look that passed between Buri and Onua as he took Thayet’s hand to lead her to dance, he paid it no attention. The two cousins, however, took great notice of the way Jon and Thayet looked at each other, the blush rising on Thayet’s cheeks, and the slightly nervous gestures Jon made as they continued to chat as they danced.  

They continued to watch the dancers with interest, and eventually noticed another pair who had joined the dancing couples. He gazed adoringly at her as they moved to the music, barely touching her except where he held onto her hand. As he spun her in an exaggerated flourish, she laughed and their watchers saw her expression matched his.

“Did you plan this?” the question hung in the air for a moment before the answer came.

“No, well, not planned, but had wondered if they might,” She admitted. Maybe she had thought about putting them together, unconsciously, but in reality they had got there on their own.

“I don’t think they realise yet,” Buri commented, and Onua nodded in agreement. “Are you going to tell them?”

“I’ve done enough interfering in people’s lives today to last me a year,” Onua replied, turning her attention away from the dancers and back to her drink. Downing the remains, she stood to go to the bar. “Let them wake up to it on their own.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was HELL. Did not want to come out or make any sense until I realized that it wasn't the middle of the story, but the end of part one. I have a big mapped out plan for this AU, but it works better in three parts so as soon as this is finished I'm going to "retitle" book one so the overall story has the title I want. 
> 
> As always thoughts, opinions, anything please let me know. Even if its "hurry up with the next one" its great to hear from you.


	14. I Heard You Found Somebody Else.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> George laments on Alanna avoiding him as he cleans up the bar after Onua's party.

 

Oh I just don't believe that you have got it in you cause

We are just gonna keep "doin' it" and everytime

I start to believe in anything you're saying

I'm reminded that I should be getting over it

_Somebody Else – The 1975_

It had been a good night, all in all, George decided as he picked up the last few empty glasses that littered the tables of the now empty bar. The party had continued long past “last orders”, and George had sent the last of the staff home long before the last few stragglers left. It had ended up being just the old guard from the uni days, with the addition of Numair’s student and Onua, seeing in the small hours. Alanna had told stories from her travels, holding court until she had left with Jon. George sighed when he remembered how they had slunk off without saying goodbye, waiting until he was off asking Badger and the rest of the staff to head home and leave them to it.

He had waited all night for the chance to talk to her, to tell he understood why she had gone back to Jon, but she had disappeared before they could talk. They had always been able to talk, even after his drunken kiss back when they were teenagers. Meandering around the bar alone, he closed up for the night, knowing he couldn’t regret sleeping with her. As much as it had damaged their friendship, as much as he hoped that was only temporary, if it wasn’t, he still knew he would never undo the one night they had together.

He loaded the last of the empties into the dishwasher behind the beer taps, before resting his head on the bar and closing his eyes. Again, he found the memory of Alanna beneath him replaying on the backs of his eyelids; the way her climax took control of her as he moved hard in search of his own. George took a deep breath, exhaling slowly, trying to calm himself.

“That’s not the best place to fall asleep Cooper,” the familiar voice caused George to jerk his head up. Sitting on the bar by his head was the short, copper-haired woman of his dreams. The loose shirt dress she had worn all evening looked dishevelled, hanging loosely off one shoulder and riding high on her muscular thighs.

“I thought you went home with Jon?” was all that he managed to say, and instantly regretted it. The drink-addled part of his brain was screaming at him, but as much as that George might want to just grab her and kiss her, stripping that maddeningly short dress from her sun-kissed skin, he wasn’t that guy.  He wasn’t the guy who stole his friends’ girl.

He wished he was, oh how much he was begging his conscience to shut up and let him be that guy.

“Nope, I was in the bathroom,” she answered sweetly, looking around the bar. “Everyone else gone too?” She knitted her brows together, confused, and George laughed.

“It’s just us lass,” he told her, filling a glass with water and handing it to her. “I think you maybe had a few too many and fell asleep in there. Party’s been over a while.” She took the glass but shook her head. As she sipped, he came out from behind the bar and intending to start pulling chairs up onto the tables ready for the cleaner in the morning. He tried not to look at her as he spoke, failing miserably after her violet eyes met his hazel ones.

“I didn’t have a chance to ask you earlier, but how did you like Sarain? Did you learn much at the Shang dojo? It must have been some experience.” As much as George tried to keep his voice light, he couldn’t swallow down the uncomfortable lump in his throat. _Just ask her about Jon you coward._

“Sarain was an experience, I mean it’s politically fucked but the place itself is amazing. The Shang were really great, I just wish it was actually considered a sport by the I.O.C. Still, it’s good to learn new things. A few of the moves were rather handy in scaring off Josaine, especially after that bitch laid hands on me! Not that they were on me for long.” A wry smile grew across Alanna’s lips, her barking laugh breaking through George’s daydream. Awoken, he tore his eyes from her, going back to the task of shutting down the bar for the night, while she continued talking.

“Poor boy really needed rescuing from that stalker bitch. He told me you’d all refused to help him get shot of her, which I’ll admit must have been amusing to start with but really, were you going to leave him to that harpy? Sorry I didn’t pop in before now, but once I’d rescued our damsel in distress, Thom insisted I go help him with all of Dad’s stuff. Only got back yesterday.” She paused, her voice softer when she continued. “I really missed you George. Why did you think I’d left with Jon?”

George turned to look at her where she sat on the bar. Her hemline had bunched up allowing just a peak at the curve of her ass. He felt himself start to get hard as his eyes roaming over her curves.

“I missed you too lass” his Adams apple bobbed as he spoke, “It’s not been the same without you here keeping us all grounded.” He purposely avoided answering her, at that moment he didn’t want there to be an acknowledgment that she was still with Jon. Right now, this second, she was here with him so he could hope. He could lie to himself that she had chosen him.

“You didn’t answer me George. Why did you think I left the party with Jon?” Alanna’s eyes flickered to the growing bulge in his pants. “It’s over between us, it should have been for a long time. It just took until he proposed for me to realise we’re now just friends who slept together.”

“Is that what you are then? Fuck buddies?” _Christ,_ he thought, _how fucking delusional am I? It’s always going to be Jon isn’t it? I never had a shot with her did I, not really._

“I thought about you while I was away,” she licked her lips as she spoke, her thighs parting as she adjusted her seat on the bar. “I had dreams too, dreams about you and me. I dreamt about you inside me, about you fucking me on this bar until I screamed. Why do you think I hid in the bathroom until we were alone? Why do you think I’m not wearing panties?”

Alanna had barely finished speaking before George claimed her mouth with his, one hand cradling the back of her head while the other slipped up her thigh. His lips met hers with almost bruising pressure, fingertips digging into her hips as he pulled her to the edge of the bar. The rough denim constraining his engorged cock caused delicious friction at the place their bodies met, Alanna groaning into his mouth as she rocked herself against him.

Her hands slipped to his jeans, unbuckling his belt before opening his fly and slipping her hands inside. George gasped as her hand wrapped around him, its languid movements along his shaft near torturous as she started to stroke him. Released from their intense kiss she moved her lips to his neck, sucking and nipping at the sensitive skin just below his earlobe.

A deep, animalistic groan rumbled in George’s chest as he jerked against her hand. His own mouth moving to her neck, his hands found the buttons of her dress, and they worked their way down just as his mouth did. As he removed her dress, slipping it slowly from her shoulders once the last button was undone, his tongue teased her clavicle, tasting her salty skin and sucking until Alanna cried out for him. Her gasps, punctuated by the feel of her nails against his scalp and his name on her lips threatened to send him over the edge, even as duet of her body grinding as her hands teased took his breath away.

He needed it to stop, he needed to be inside her. More than that he needed to be sure of her, of what this was.

He slowed his kisses before eventually withdrawing from her. Letting his eyes roam her flushed skin, he reached forward and danced his fingertips along the curve of her breast before placing his palm against her sternum. Pressing the spot gently, he pushed her back until she lay flat against the bar. A copper halo framed her face, while the deep wood of the bar made her skin luminous _. Fuck_ , he thought, _she’s so beautiful._

Leaning over her, his lips found her breasts, while his hands slid up her thighs, over her hips until they eventually found her waist. With a single hand he held her own above her head, his other taking his cock and caressing it against her slick folds, teasing her swollen clit with his tip.

“Please George, Oh god please,” Alanna’s voice was breathy and soft in his ears as she called for him. Trailing his mouth from her nipples to her lips he kissed a path across her face. Finishing his trail at her lips, he rubbed the tip of his nose against hers. His hazel eyes locked on her violet ones, he reached forward to caress her cheek, the pad of his thumb dragging across her bottom lip.

“What is it you want ‘lanna?” he asked, resting against her, his eyes searching hers. Their frenzied breathing slowed despite him resting on her, their bodies connecting more with each movement of their bodies. “Tell me what you want. I… I need to hear the words love.”

“I want you,” she whispered, kissing him softly before continuing. “I want you to make love to me right here, right now.” His breath hitched when she spoke, and she smiled. Wriggling a hand free she reached for his face as she wrapped her legs around him.

“Claim me George, I’m yours if you want me.”

“God lass, I’ll never not want you,” he exclaimed, releasing the breath he held inside as he pushed inside her. Alanna cried out as he filled her, closing her eyes against the sensation. George let go of her remaining hand and instead grasped her hips, pulling her down hard against him at every thrust. Now free she kissed him, looping her arms around his neck, pressing against him, trying to become part of him as much as he was seeking to be inside her. George thrust harder, lifting her hips to adjust his angle, touching places inside her Jon never did.  

Alanna found herself letting go of his neck as she found herself finding her release, instead reaching behind her to grip the bar, steadying herself, keeping herself still on the counter as George pounded her, crying out each time he slipped inside her, filling her in that of so delicious way. Her head fell from the counter, the blood rush intensifying the feelings, pushing her toward her next climax.

George looked down at her in wonder, she petite frame bucking and undulating against him as he claimed her. Her eyes were closed, yet she cried for him, responding to his every touch. Feeling his release approach he lets his lips fall to her throat, kissing the soft flesh, feeling her pulse against his tongue.

“I’m never letting you go lass, you’re mine now,” he whispered in her ear. She screamed for him as stars danced across the inside of her eyelids. George stilling deep inside her and warmth flooded her belly, compelling her to open her eyes. There was no disguising the emotion on George’s face as he came deep inside her; it was everything she had hoped for. Everything that was in her own heart. He collapsed against her, nuzzling her neck, holding her tightly against him as they both came down from their euphoria.

“Me either George,” she sighed before kissing him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a few "Poor George" comments after the last chapter and they made my day... i think his agony that night was worth it in the end, don't you?
> 
> Apologies for the delay on this one. I hoped to get it out before I went on holiday but then my cat (aka the brains of the operation) ended up in kitty hospital so it took me a while to get back into the swing of the smut. 
> 
> comments as always are ADORED. I'm trying to decide what kind of relationship to write for Jon/Thayet. I'm just not sure how kinky they are... I kinda feel Thayet might be a bit wild. Thoughts?


End file.
